“Uhh, sure son…Santa. Please don’t throw me into the sun.”

Playing with fire there old man.

oh clark

Did you know that The Ultimate Warrior beat up Santa? Or that Lobo tried to gut him? It’s true – check it out after the jump! Continue reading

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Fifty-Four: Uh, Waiter? There’s a Kryptonian in my Soup…

…meanwhile, Red Tornado and Robotman are crying tick-tock tears because the restaurant firmly clings to the “No Androids Allowed” policy.

Smile, Superman, you’re on “Candid Camera”!


A snapshot of Kal-El, Row 2, Seat 8, at the Legendary Musical Debacle of 1992 that was the Guns N’Roses/Metallica Stadium Tour


In the 1950s, it seemed like pieces of colored Kryptonite could be found as prizes in breakfast cereal. I heard Superman was once exposed to Kryptonite that looked like a Nathan’s hot dog, and he turned into Stan Lee…


(picture taken in August 1987, post-“Superman IV”)
No, Supe…I figure we’ll just write and trash scripts on-and-off for about another 16, 17 years, see if Nic Cage wants to get involved, talk to that ‘Clerks’ guy, that guy who did the vampire movie in the bar, then chuck all that mess and cast an unknown actor to play you, but hey, it’s not gonna be bad, because I think we can get the guy who played Skeletor to be Perry White? Yeah, that’s a solid plan…


Superman tries to do the Right Thing…sadly, the cross boomerangs back to terra firma and impales The Thing…


VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION!

Finally, our eye-in-the-sky spots the movers-and-shakers of Hollywood discussing the future of the Man of Steel…

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Twelve: Summary of Existence (Words by Mocha Mott’s Coffee, Pictures by Warner Bros.)

He woke on Monday morning, ready to conquer the world, or, at a minimum, harness nature for his steady progress:

He knew his war with Intemperate Technology – amok, fire-breathing, megalomaniacal, and insidiously steadfast little gremlins – would be measured battle by battle, but he’d claim the ultimate victory when he rose from the debris:

He understands, with regret, that the enemy will utilize surreptitious and underhanded methods that may drive him to madness:

He also knows … that ain’t no thang

He’ll struggle, but he won’t relent. He’s seen all manner of supervillainous behavior; he’s not going to resort to Neverending Drink:

Heck, isn’t this all a dream, anyway? Yes, this must all be a dream – one in which your action figures are ready to jump off the shelves and assume action when they hear the call for justice:

Therefore, the only advice I have for you is – Enjoy the Dolphin Ride…

…and accept no substitutes.

Superman Fashion Show

I think the only superhero who changes costumes more frequently than the Man of Steel is the Man of Spiders (ed. note: No one calls him that dude. No one.), Peter Parker. I’d like to see a comparison chart, actually. If only I knew some ARTISTS who were good at drawing COMICS on the WEB. Hmmm.

As for the choices below, I’m firmly in the camp that believes if you ain’t the Red Son then you ain’t shit, son. (Although All Star Superman gets a a big ol’ high five as well)

(Link via TDW)

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Four: Behold, For He Has Walked From the Light to Return to the Shadows…

Gamechanger.

Jim Aparo at his finest. Look at the faces of the rejected Justice League of America. Flash is aghast – Sorry, Barry, your pain has just begun. Stretchy McPickle and Flamecoif are numb – Wonder Woman is abandoned at the altar by her Own True (Batty) Love. Superman, the Angry Kryptonian, curls a scowl as Batman verbally liquifies the relationship. Check out Black Lightning and Metamorpho – there’s your Solid Gold Comeuppance, b*tches. There’s the Karma Train driving right through your living room as you and the clan are enjoying your Hamburger Helper. Beauty. I am a huge John Byrne fan, but…I really feel Aparo is the only artist who could’ve accurately portrayed the Shift of Power. Sales of “BATO” skyrocketed…”Justice League of America” began the slow, goopy, oozy slide to the Michigan Years. I fondly recall this comic as a real gamechanger to me, even at the young age of seven. The Lesson?

There’s always another way.

Yeah, I hear your mumbling…I know Batman walked away from the Outsiders three years after this cover. He know there was another way, too. It All Comes Full Circle.

Holy Bat-Tangent! If you’re gonna read Adam West’s “Batman: Back to the Batcave”, the counterpart must, too, be absorbed: Burt Ward’s “Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights” The perspectives of both productions are best defined by the covers:

Good reading to y’all.

“Heroes Next Door” – How Superheroes Live in The Day to Day

Photographer Chow Kar Hoo showcases superheroes in the flesh-and-blood world. More of his work is available here. (from Kotaku)

Weekend Links: I May Not Excel at Sports, but Posting Fantastic Links? That’s Where I’m a Viking.

– I’m not sure what your deal is, but I loved both Fallout 3 & Fallout: New Vegas (crippling bugs aside). The only reason I know Olney even exists is because I know it was lousy with Deathclaws in FO3. Well now you can get out your blue books and get ready to compare & contrast, because some mad genius traveled around to various spots taking pictures of places that appear in the Fallout games.  Brave man; hope he had a Power Fist with him.

– Fill ‘er up!  The 10 Best Board Games Available on the iPad. I keep meaning to buy Ticket to Ride but then I keep getting distracted by Magic: The Gathering 2013.

– Remember the other week when I raved about Batman Incorporated #2 Well much like the GENIUS LEVEL Watchmen annotation site (which is a must read, regardless of your familiarity with the series) Comics Alliance is annotating Batman Incorporated.

– You would think Superman would excel at the Interplanetary Olympics.  Turns out, not so much.

– Can I even begin to tell you how badly I want this:

It is I, Victor! the problem is, these comics are only available on a non-mobile platform. What good does that do me?  If it was available via iPad I’d be all over this. It would, in fact, be on like Donkey Kong. But no. Sads.

– Have an awesome weekend! I’m heading to the moon to play tennis with Don Cornelius.

PPPPPAAAAARRRRTTTTYYYYY