Done & Dusted: Why I’m Glad I’m Not Playing Assassin’s Creed 3 Anymore

I don’t even know where to begin. Maybe the month where I didn’t pick this game up once and didn’t feel like I was missing a thing? I try to squeeze in a some game time when my schedule allows but nothing about the last 1/4th of ACIII made me want to play it again. I’m pissed, too, because had I known how terrible it was going to get, I would’ve quit playing it for the proper reason: IT WAS HORRIBLE. I should have realized it was terrible when I started a mission where I had to find Sasquatch for Davy Crockett. Yes, you read that correctly. SASQUATCH. DAVY CROCKETT.

I went through the last three or four chapters, skipping the cut scenes and just playing the main missions. At that point I didn’t understand what was happening in the story and I didn’t care, because the entire thing had all stopped making sense.  Maybe I’m being too harsh; maybe there are people out there who really got into every eight minute cut scene and really followed the story. Good for them, I don’t judge. But too me? Gibberish, plain & simple.

An example of the inanity that eventually drove me mad: After the final act in the Past, you’ve returned to the present and the animus.  Here, you’re directed to do something with an apple in a big cave.  Yes, that’s about as descriptive as I can get.  Seems fairly simple right? Walk over to a large big screen, plug-in the apple and you’re golden. WRONG. So very WRONG. What I didn’t know (and what there was no indication of) was that you had to connect three power charges to turn the screen on. Then every time you got near a power charge-thingy it would trigger an immensely long cut scene, which featured a woman explaining (or trying to explain) something. At that point she could have spilled ancient secrets of wisdom, I just did not care. Let me plug these goddamn power charges in and keep it moving, lady! I mean, it doesn’t help that you can’t skip these cut scenes. Once you finally plug the apple in the screen another cut scene (of course) comes up that I think shows you the apocalypse. Maybe? Here, you try to figure it out. After another six-minute scene the credits finally roll. Game over. HA HA NO, you have to wait until all nine minutes of the cut scene end before you can collect your trophy and end the game.

I’ve stated before how much I’ve loved the Assassin’s Creed franchise; I really thought that ACII  was the pinnacle and they’ve been steadily going downhill since then.  Well, Ubisoft should congratulate itself with Assassin’s Creed III;  not only have they ruined my love for this series but they’ve also hit the complete bottom of the barrel. Who knows what the future holds for the series besides yearly editions with some minor tweaks here and there while sales continue to drop, therefore necessitating an endless string of reboots.  Welcome, Assassin’s Creed, to Tomb Raider territory.

Not once did I see anything resembling this image in game

Not once did I see anything resembling this image in game