Trailer Park – Red Dead Redemption 2

The story of outlaw Arthur Morgan and the Van der Linde gang as they rob, fight and steal their way across the vast and rugged heart of America in order to survive. Coming Spring 2018 to PlayStation 4 and Xbox One systems.
Sequel to, hands down, one of the best games I’ve ever played? Yes please.

All Right, Who’s Ready To $pend An Untold Amount of Money on the GTA V Collector’s Edition? (Besides Me)

Video game companies must think we’re all suckers. Truth be told, they are spot-on with that assessment. They keep cranking out these massive special editions full of geegaws and whatnots, and we, the video game playing public, keep snapping them up. To what end? I’ve never used the GTA IV lockbox I got with that particular special edition, yet I’ve dragged it to four different apartments (NYC: We Move A Lot). I have so many art books I use them as coasters when all the friends I’ve abandoned to play video games come over to drink heavily.  Now it’s just de facto for any AAA-title to come out with the most overstuffed special edition (usually in tiers, as well, which leaves me in tears haha j/k) to try and pawn off on their particular niche.  The Call of Duty franchise is probably the worst offender. But don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Bioshock Infinite, Borderlands 2 or Uncharted 3.

Still though….Atomic Blimp. That’s mighty tempting.blimp

Keep your eyes peeled (or your browsers pointed here) for further announcements from Rockstar on the whens and (more importantly) the how muchs of pre-ordering your very own copy of Grand Theft Auto V.

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Collector’s Edition

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Special Edition

Go With What You Know – Grand Theft Auto V Box Art

Give Rockstar credit(?); they certainly aren’t leaving their comfort zone when it comes to box art. But maybe they don’t have to; isn’t this cover style iconic at this point? Come for the Grand Theft Auto V cover unveil, stay for the past GTA box cover installments.
gtav_box gta4gta_SA GTA_Vice_City_Box_Art  Grand_Theft_Auto_3_Cover

Update 4/2/13 8:45pm: Looks like I unintentionally ripped of Kotaku with this. Great minds etc etc.

Travel Plans on Hold: We’re Heading Back to Los Santos A Little Later Than We Thought

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From Rockstar:

Dear all,
Today, we have an official release date to share with you: Grand Theft Auto V will arrive in stores on September 17, 2013.
We know this is about four months later than originally planned and we know that this short delay will come as a disappointment to many of you, but, trust us, it will be worth the extra time. GTAV is a massively ambitious and complex game and it simply needs a little more polish to be of the standard we and, more importantly, you require.
To all Grand Theft Auto fans, please accept our apologies for the delay, and our promise that the entire team here is working very hard to make the game all it can be. We are doing all we can to help ensure it will meet if not exceed your expectations come September – we thank you for your support and patience.
Yours,
The GTA Team

Trailer Park: NEW Grand Theft Auto V Trailer

Just..just watch it:

“Just ignore the bodies”.

How can I properly describe this without being incredibly hyperbolic? I can’t even…this just looks incredible. I’ve said it before but damn, Rockstar is on a roll.

Things of particular interest:

– The song.  I’d heard rumors that Rockstar was going to do away with all the music of the earlier GTA’s and instead have a brand new score created for the game, which I thought was a terrible idea.  Some of the best times I’ve had playing GTA is just cruising around listening to the radio. So hopefully the Stevie Wonder track is just a sampling of another round of incredible radio stations stocked with killer jamz.

– Trevor Phillips is crazy pants. He looks like a redneck Andrew W.K. with less hair. (Here’s the real life version)

– The variety of areas & set pieces, which I’m sure is just a fraction of what’s actually available to explore.

– “Bounce. We’re bouncing now?”

– The vehicles.

BONUS: Full length version of the Stevie Wonder track from the trailer.

Incoming! Grand Theft Auto V screenshots

Courtesy of Kotaku & GTAV.net, check out these new screenshots featuring more of Los Santos & our new triumvirate of protagonists (my new band name, btw).

I hope I’m able to finish Bioshock: Infinite by the time this game arrives. I’d hate to cut short my B:I playtime, but I am physically incapable of continuing to play a current game when a new one shows up. Case in point: I wasn’t able to finish the Borderlands 2 pirate DLC this weekend and now with the imminent arrival of BLOPS 2 (tonight!) it may just end up on the big unfinished game stack, along all the Fallout:New Vegas DLC that I will never play. So in that regard, I’m kind of glad that Skyrim DLC isn’t PS3 bound.

Back in the Los Santos Groove: GTA V Details Emerge **UPDATE**

You see those three bad mutha’s strutting down there? Game Informer says those are your three protagonists for Grand Theft Auto V. Looks like they could do some damage to the faux-L.A. too.  Can. Not. WAIT.

GI also states that this is the largest open world that Rockstar has ever created.  Which sounds delightful but also problematic.  Do you remember when you fist unfolded the Red Dead Redemption map? I broke out in a cold stress-sweat.  If GTAV is going to dwarf that, I may have to save up some vacation days.

“Good news lady, we’re going to Los Santos for our vacation this year!”

Initial trailer:

UPDATE 4:37PM 11.08.12 – Kotaku has gleaned some more information (most likely by reading the article) including the following:

  • According to Rockstar, Grand Theft Auto V‘s Los Santos is bigger than Red Dead Redemption, San Andreas, and Grand Theft Auto IV combined. Yep. There’s wilderness, a military base, and even an ocean floor to explore underwater.
  • You can switch between the game’s three main protagonists at “nearly any time.”
  • Those three protagonists, by the way, are named Michael, Trevor, and Franklin. Michael is a retired bank robber who gets sucked back into crime; Trevor is a career criminal and drug addict; Franklin is a 20-something street hustler.
  • Sometimes they’ll work together on missions, during which you can switch back and forth from character to character depending on which part of a given mission you feel like doing.
  • Each character has his own personality, skill set, and group of friends to interact with. And the ones you’re not controlling will go off and do their own thing.
  • This is the same world as Grand Theft Auto IV and Liberty City, so you might see some recurring characters from those games (just not the major ones, like Niko Bellic). But. Rockstar says this is the “high-definition” world of Grand Theft Auto, so don’t expect to see anyone from the PS2-era titles.
  • Remember those randomized dynamic missions in Red Dead Redemption? They’re back for GTAV: expect hitchhikers, muggers, and dead bodies, among others.
  • Yes friendships. No romance.
  • Rockstar says there will be an economy, but you won’t be able to buy properties. There will be “loads of other stuff.”

Goodbye meatspace foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Weekend Links: At a Long Enough Bachelor Party, Everyone’s Life Expectancy Drops to Zero

Taking this, my short reprieve between Parts A & B of my bachelor party, to bring you some hot, honey scented, bourbon flavored links. What am I talking about? I have no idea, I am super hung over.

– Pulitzer Prize-Winning Author Junot Diaz Discusses His Love Of Comics – Have you read The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao? Dude you are missing out.  That book is AWESOME. Plus Diaz name drops Galactus on the first page. Get it!

– How about some Breaking Bad action figures to liven up your apartment AND keep all of your hentai statues company while you’re at work?

How many ghost butts are YOU currently touching? 

A brief (not so brief) look at all of the intros from the various releases from Rockstar Games. 

Yes, The Library of Congress Has Video Games– See, libraries and librarians ARE cool. We’re just semi-secret about it.

– How the upcoming Black Ops II will handle the Prestige system and other salient details about the upcoming FPS.

– Thanos concept art from The Avengers! 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, now I’m off to Atlantic City to gamble away all of my preciousModern Borefare earnings (ed.note: current Modern Borefare earnings: $0.00) and try to cultivate this dull hangover into something truly horrific. In closing, I want to leave you with the words of a truly gifted wordsmith, who said it best when he said “The Humpty Dance / is your chance/ to do the Hump.”