Visiting the Dreamcrushers a/k/a Let’s Go to Gamestop & Buy a PS4

Confession time: I have yet to buy a Playstation 4.  Yes, yes, horror of horrors, I know.  But having just finished my first run through of Grand Theft Auto V and currently waist deep in spent shell casings over in CoD: Ghosts, there just hasn’t been a compelling reason to buy one.

Until yesterday, when it suddenly dawned on me that I did not have a Playstation 4. Clearly, I had to rectify this.  Luckily: Brainstorm! Why don’t I trade in my PS3 + my clutch of games (44 at last count) at Gamestop? I mean, that many games PLUS an original PS3? I’m pretty sure we all know that that equals brand new PS4, two controllers, a PS camera and a year of PSN, easy.

So it should surprise absolutely no one that his plan did not work out. At all. First off, Gamestop has zero PS4s.  I called 12 of them last night (Queens & Manhattan) and got a bunch of different answers including : “No.” “No, we don’t have them but we can sell you the $800 bundle” “No one has them and won’t have them until March. But we CAN sell you a bundle.” “Nah, but maybe we’ll have some in later January.” Ok, clearly this is bullshit that these jerks are spewing to push sales of the console bundles. I ain’t buying it, both literately AND figuratively.

At least I can start to figure out how much sweet sweet store credit I’ll be getting for my collection. I figure, at least $5/game & $100 for the console, thats $320 + the various trade-in gimmicks that GS is currently running.  So maybe I won’t get all the stuff I envisioned for a straight trade, but If I can get an entire new setup for under $100, I’ll be doing fine.

Shocker #2: Gamestop said they’d give me $60 for the PS3…until they double checked and said they could only give me $50 for it. OOF. Well, ok, not amazing but at least I have my library of games to make up the bulk of the cost. So I packed up all of my games, headed over to my local Gamestop to see how long I’d have to wait for my semi-free PS4.

Well…while it turns out they may have shipments this week, you can’t reserve them. You just have to be there when they open, otherwise no dice. I’ve got line-standers on standby, so no worries there. So tell me, Mr. Bald Up Front, Mullet in the Back Gamestop Employee, how much will I be getting for all 44 of my games, plus my console, with all of the various add-ons and trade-in bonuses?

Oh, you know:

ONE.

HUNDRED.

THIRTY.

FIVE.

DOLLARS.

This is including the $39 I’d get for trading in GTA V. So the other 42 games? Yeah, Gamestop will basically give me $2/title.

I’m not even pissed; I expected to get screwed a bit. But this…savage rogering? This straight up thievery? Wow Gamestop. Wow.

The worst part is?  I think i may just go ahead and do it anyway. I’m NEVER going to play these games again, so why not get some value out of them? Man.  Gamestop.  That’s some coooooold shit.

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Back in the Los Santos Groove: GTA V Details Emerge **UPDATE**

You see those three bad mutha’s strutting down there? Game Informer says those are your three protagonists for Grand Theft Auto V. Looks like they could do some damage to the faux-L.A. too.  Can. Not. WAIT.

GI also states that this is the largest open world that Rockstar has ever created.  Which sounds delightful but also problematic.  Do you remember when you fist unfolded the Red Dead Redemption map? I broke out in a cold stress-sweat.  If GTAV is going to dwarf that, I may have to save up some vacation days.

“Good news lady, we’re going to Los Santos for our vacation this year!”

Initial trailer:

UPDATE 4:37PM 11.08.12 – Kotaku has gleaned some more information (most likely by reading the article) including the following:

  • According to Rockstar, Grand Theft Auto V‘s Los Santos is bigger than Red Dead Redemption, San Andreas, and Grand Theft Auto IV combined. Yep. There’s wilderness, a military base, and even an ocean floor to explore underwater.
  • You can switch between the game’s three main protagonists at “nearly any time.”
  • Those three protagonists, by the way, are named Michael, Trevor, and Franklin. Michael is a retired bank robber who gets sucked back into crime; Trevor is a career criminal and drug addict; Franklin is a 20-something street hustler.
  • Sometimes they’ll work together on missions, during which you can switch back and forth from character to character depending on which part of a given mission you feel like doing.
  • Each character has his own personality, skill set, and group of friends to interact with. And the ones you’re not controlling will go off and do their own thing.
  • This is the same world as Grand Theft Auto IV and Liberty City, so you might see some recurring characters from those games (just not the major ones, like Niko Bellic). But. Rockstar says this is the “high-definition” world of Grand Theft Auto, so don’t expect to see anyone from the PS2-era titles.
  • Remember those randomized dynamic missions in Red Dead Redemption? They’re back for GTAV: expect hitchhikers, muggers, and dead bodies, among others.
  • Yes friendships. No romance.
  • Rockstar says there will be an economy, but you won’t be able to buy properties. There will be “loads of other stuff.”

Goodbye meatspace foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Trailer Park: Dude, You Just Got Left 4 Dead in my Black Ops 2!

The first CoD: Zombie whatever I played was in Black Ops; it never really did much for me. I didn’t get what I was supposed to do besides kill zombies. That’s fun, right, but there’s clearly other stuff going on with vending machines and doors and i don’t even know what. It seemed stupidly complicated for something that should be stupidly simple. Did Cod: MW3 have a zombies mode? I would look but I just don’t care enough to. (ed.note: That is 10 demerits you lazy bastard! The answer is no, by the way.)

So Zombies mode is back in this Fall’s Black Ops II and you know what? It looks just bananas enough that I’m going to give it a go, even though it, shall we say, looks to borrow heavily from another popular zombie franchise.

Trailer Park: New Skyrim DLC! Though Maybe Not EXACTLY What You Were Expecting. **UPDATE I Told You So

Skyrim: Hearthfire –

I just read something describing this DLC as The Sims: Skyrim. Seems pretty apt to me. By the same token, this is exactly the type of game play that hooks me.  I can build my own stupid house and endlessly arrange trophies? Sign me up! However, the initial problem is going to be getting all of my loot from my house in Whiterun out to wherever I build my M.C. Escher nightmare of a domicile. I spent over 130 hours collecting every book, weapon, scrap of armor, piece of jewelry, alchemy component and malleable metal that I came across, all of which is in what are apparently Chests of Holding in my ramshackle Whiterun dump.  How am I going to get everything frome Point A to Point B in a timely manner? Just like in real life, moving is a bitch.

This may be a moot point for us PS3 owners though, as I still don’t have access to Dawnguard and it doesn’t look like I will anytime soon.

In relation to the Dawnguard expansion pack for the PS3 platform, Bethesda still has not decided to give any input on the developments behind this content. In reference to a fans’ concerns on Dawnguard for the PS3, Pete Hines stated that “we got it out on PC as fast as we could. We are equally as unhappy we can’t release current version on PS3.” It is to be presumed that Bethesda is still hard at work trying to resolve the issues they are having with Dawnguard for the PS3. Hopefully they will be able to provide some concrete information to us soon.

I bet that Bethesda just scraps episodic DLC for Skyrim on the PS3 altogether and the only way you’ll be able to play it is on the GOTY edition that they release in 2013 sometime.

**UPDATE — 08.30.12 8:40PM — I WAS RIGHT!! Kotaku reports that “PS3 owners might not get Dawnguard after all“. Way to go, Bethesda. Way. to. go.

Trailer Park: First Look at Black Ops II Multiplayer

As much as I’ve bitched & moaned about this game (and will continue to do so right up until release day) this looks super awesome. Dammit.  DAMMIT. Every year they pull me back in!  Am I really so bereft of willpower?

Notes from the trailer:

– What is that thing he’s throwing?

– I like that they’ve changed the kill notifications.

– Is one of the killstreaks a portable microwave emitter?

– Those flying Dragonfire things are going to be as annoying as the RC cars from Black Ops I.  Just you wait.

– You can get a MECH? That is awesome & wholly unfair.

– The throwing implement this go round is a sweet looking hand axe. I look forward to sticking this in your skulls, anonymous BOII players.

– Kamikaze swarms?

Late to the Party But Now That I’m Here, I’m Angry

Tomorrow’s the Fourth of July and I have the day off.  Even better, my office closes at 2pm today AND my fiancé is otherwise indisposed until 8 or 9pm.  A perfect time to buy some beers, download Penny Arcade’s On The Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness 3 which I’ve been waiting roughly four years to play, and just relax.

Home now, the first beers been cracked, I fire up my (fat)PS3 and open up the PSN where I discover…NO OTRSPOD FOR THE PS3.

Really?  Really? It’s slated to come to the MAC of all places?! (ed.note: This is being written on a Mac, so…) But not the PS3?  This is madness.  Madness.

Killing the series when it was halfway over wasn’t bad enough, but Penny Arcade and Zeboyd are screwing over a percentage of their fan base? I don’t get in. I know that the 360 get’s all of the Bethesda and Rockstar DLC first due to have a wider install base.  I get it, I’m not mad.  It’s the console choice I made.  But for a $5 retro game that’s the third in a series, all of sudden now  is when you get picky about supporting platforms? I just don’t get it.

The only consolation I have now is my Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale.  Which I will drink at a luxurious place was absolutely wrecking people in Max Payne 3 multi-player. Penny Arcade doesn’t want my money? Fine, Rockstar can have it.