Olivia Munn Has Tits (And Little Else)

Ostensibly I’m linking to the above video because A) it’s a spot-on spoof of every supernatural thriller trailer from the last five years and B) it’s funny as shit (especially the male lead). But really I’m doing it because I’m a slut for Aaron Sorkin and I have come to love The Newsroom despite its flawed execution, hit-and-miss casting, and over-reliance on its creator’s trademark hyper-intelligent dialogue.

While I’m always delighted to see an FHM-caliber celebrity appear in a whimsical, no-budget genre short, this is really just an excuse to vent about my absolute loathing for poison pill Olivia Munn. This woman, stunning though she is, has zero sense of humor and all the acting ability of a Miss Teen USA contestant. Casting directors need to stop listening to their dicks for once.  American men (myself included) will watch anything that fills out a sweater and skirt combo but gorgeous and game does not a comedic talent make.

Miss Munn has exquisite posture and a Baywatch body. Her face should be carved into marble. But I’ve watched her pretend to be into video games on Attack of the Show and pretend to understand satire on The Daily Show. Now, on Newsroom, I get to watch her shit all over some of the finest writing on television. Munn playing a PhD economist is something akin to Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist. I’m not buying it. This woman is no C.J. Cregg. Of all the casting errors in Newsroom (sorry, Sam Waterston, I have no patience for whatever’s been going on with your jaw control for the past 20 years) Munn is by far the worst. She is where punchlines go to die. She is the very antithesis of what her character is meant to be. Whereas Sloan Sabbath first and foremost is a brilliant mind that vastly outshines her supermodel looks, Munn’s theatrical abilities are utterly insufficient to escape the black hole of her beauty.

But yeah, the YouTube thing is funny. And, tits.