Dreams Come True – A Decade Too Late

MARVEL.

CAPCOM.

INFINITY GEMS (they aren’t Infinity stones, you hacks. Gems. They’re gems.)

Be still my black, black heart. Except…I’ve aged out of fighting games. I no longer have the patience nor the time to memorize combos and ultimate attacks for 30 characters at a clip. My muscle memory is shot! I mean, i’ll still give you a run for your $$$ if you want to break out Tekken (3 OR 5) or UFC Undisputed or Soul Caliber or WWE Here Comes the Pain or any SF2 iteration or World Heroes or Samurai Showdown…but I pretty much drew the line at MvC3 (or rather had the line drawn FOR me, as I  I would get absolutely butchered on the regular)

Now get off my lawn and leave me to my Witcher 3 wanderings. Get too close and I’ll run you through. *shakes canesword*

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Marvel + Lego: Genius? Gimmick? Genius Gimmick?

Hark! Gather ’round and listen: ‘lo, LEGO (there’s no “s”, Jack) and MARVEL have teamed up to sell you variant covers of your favorite comics! Lucky you. Check out the first three below and start planning how many copies you’re going to buy. A good rule of thumb: 1 to polybag/board, 1 to read and 1 leave in the john.
hawk guy lego indestructivle lego logan_lego
Full breakdown of the comics you can expect to be LEGO’ized in the near future along with the full press release after the jump: Continue reading

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: The Unending Tide of Marvel NOW Art

This time for December solicitations!

Prepare thyself: Marvel is slated to cancel a whole spate of books and relaunch a slew of other books.  I mean, you knew that, being the savvy comic book fan you are.  But please realize that not EVERYONE knew it, so Modern Borefare is here to (Soulja Boy?) tell ’em.  Bleeding Cool (artwork source) has the run down for you but the gist is: Wolverine, Captain America And…, Uncanny X-Force? Cancelled.  Wolverine, Cable & The X-Force, All-Star X-Men, Monster’s Inc, Uncanny Avengers? Relaunched or just plain new. For you.  But not in ’92. This is 2012; embrace it!

Marvel Shamelessly Rips Off Battle Royale (Marvel: “No We Didn’t.”)

What

Similarities?

Don’t worry people it’s totally not Battle Royale; it’s Avengers Arena duh. Tiny bow-tied jackass Arcade (I hated your level in every video game you’ve ever appeared in) somehow scoops up a bunch of teenage mutants, dumps them on Arcade Island (which is a thing now) and makes them hunt each other down. Which is not at all how things go down in Battle Royale. But, Marvel assures us, these deaths will be real and will matter. So…who can you name in the poster above? Would their real, permanent deaths affect your comic buying or reading experience in anyway?

Thought so.

Link via The Beat.

Trailer Park: Marvel Heroes

Straight from PAX! Gameplay footage from the apparently free to play (!) Marvel MMO. Sadly, unless a miracle happens, I’ll never get a chance to play this. In this one instance, boooooo having a Mac. Well, booooo for this and for The Secret World. Actually though…it’s probably better off that my gaming options are narrower, not broader.

Review: Avengers vs X-Men #10 – Secret Power Source

Look, I agree I might be a bit obsessed with Cyclops’ Phoenix-Force mandated thong, but clearly so is Marvel. Why else would it be so prominent on this cover?

In this issue, Cyclops shows up to K’un Lun ready to wreck shit (preferred) in his quest to bring Hope back home (less preferred). Everyone gives it their Avengers-brand® all, but of course it’s not enough. Look, you would think that in 50 years of defending the Earth from threats ranging from small time crooks to reality-devouring villains, the Avengers would know that individuals who tend to both glow and float are generally a large problem.
 
Yet you’ve still got Hawkeye out there, ready to bounce a few arrows harmlessly off of Cyclops’ face.

That, of course, goes about as well as could be expected, with Cyke just DOMINATING everyone then afterword throwing some shade the Avengers way. Man, Phoenix Force Five Two Cyclops is kind of a dick.

Cyclops to Avengers: “LOL WUT”

You know that bottom panel is just begging for a Kirby-esque “KRAKKA-DOOM!!!” Plus, awesome call back to on of my favorite bits from Fraction & Aja’s Immortal Iron Fist, where they used to put all of the moves employed by Danny & his fellow Immortal Weapons into little captions. Dance of 1000 Monkeys! Shattering Palm Strike! Brooklyn Headbutt! I also really enjoyed seeing Cyclops out of his element for the first time in this series and just dumped on his ass after hovering about, lording it over everyone.

Anyone wanna bet that next issue features Cyclops heading back to Earth after recovering from the ass-kicking Hope gave him, dispatching Emma via first round rear naked choke,absorbing all of the Phoenix Force and then just going bonkers?

Here’s the music video that really inspired Cyclops when it came time to put together his new costume:

I really can’t wait for this event to be over.  Then again, that means Marvel NOW! will be kicking off and I’m not exactly sure how thrilled I am for that.  Hmm.  QUITE THE FIENDISH LITTLE CONUNDRUM, MARVEL. Quite…the conundrum.

Review: AvX #9, Featuring the Death of Spider-Man

Ok, not really.  But seriously, look at this:
Faceless by punching You’re telling me that non-healing power enabled Peter Parker was able to survive a straight right hand from an organic steel covered, Juggernaut AND Phoenix powered Colossus? No way. Look, I know this is “comics” but come on. Peter’s head should look like some extra lumpy chili inside that mask! He shouldn’t be able to be swinging from rock outcropping to rock outcropping all nimbly-bimbly! Let’s say he survives that first punch (doubtful); Colossus still goes berserk on him for the majority of the next two pages! In one of the panels he stands on Parker’s back! Colossus weighs 500 lbs when transformed, the Juggernaut, 1,900lbs! Parker’s guts should have shot out of his mouth (or what was left of it) at that point!

Before we get to the non-death of Spider-Man,  AvX rolls on.  I think the idea to focus on Spider-Man this issue was interesting; though the foreshadowing was pretty heavy-handed in his conversation with Hope. Back to Spider-Man in a minute as elsewhere it looks like the Phoenix Five Four are starting to fold under the cosmic might of The Phoenix. Emma is starting to crack and after being basically ignored by Cyclops when she asked for help, she flits off and melts the brain of some guy who had just been sitting down to dinner. How does that work? Ding-Dong! “Who is it?” “Uh…some hot naked glowing lady.” “Does she want to come in for dinner?” BRAIN-MELT.

At the infirmary in K’un-L’un, why is everyone still in costume? You’re injured, put some sweat pants on!

Magick & Colossus toss Thor in a volcano that is actually housing an incursion of Limbo onto Earth.  I thought Limbo was supposed to be a place of nothing; layaway for the soul until someone comes by and scoops you up. Now it’s all fire-n-brimstone & full of demons? Hmmm. Storm looks on, concerned. But then she’s all “Whatevs” and flies back off to Wakanda where T’Challa is all, “Hey Ororo, guess what?”

Surprise
Colossus has apparently gone crazy (see last issue of Wolverine & The X-Men), tacking on legs to whales because he thought they’d be happier on land.  Turns out, not so much. He asks Magick for help in creating some new whales later on. Piotr, you crazy.

Anyways, the remaining Avengers try a last ditch full-frontal assault on where the Avenger prisoners are being kept; the aforementioned Limbo incursion. They get handled easily by Magick & Colossus, at which point Spider-Man somehow makes everyone retreat, creates a rockslide to seperate the X-Men and the fleeing Avengers, then takes on Magick & big shiny C himself. Which brings us full circle to the magically unkillable Peter Parker. Who not only doesn’t die when facing these two demi-gods, but manages to actually talk them to death. Ok, not legit death, but enough that they knocked each other out (?) and lost their Phoenix powers. And with that we are down to the Phoenix Two. Including super codpiece sporting Cyclops:

Cameo?

“LOOK ON MY CODPIECE YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR!”

Three more issues of this? Oh, brother.

Modern Heroes as Ancient Gods

From artist Tim Maclean, superheroes recast as Roman & Greek gods.

Start Saving Now: Marvel Films 6 Disc Blu-Ray Set

IT COMES IN A S.H.I.E.L.D. BRIEFCASE. There’s some sort of Tesseract light up Rubick’s Cube inside! Movie memorabilia that you’ll never look at again!  This is a steal at $200, meaning the only way I’m getting this is if I steal it. (ed note: Modern Borefare does not endorse or condone stealing limited edition S.H.I.E.L.D briefcases stuffed with crap.) Though right now it’s 40% off if you pre-order through Amazon. What are you waiting for??