This Week’s Comics Haul: The Origin of Doop > Everything Else

Did you read Peter Milligan & Mike Allred’s X-Statix / X-Factor? NO? Hide yourself from the rest of society out of the deepest shame. It’s so weird and so clever and so good.  Damn, I’m going to have to re-read the entire series now.  Why am I bringing up a long dead series on New Comic Book Day? BECAUSE…apparently the answer to the comic book question I’ve most wanted to know (no, not what Darkhawk’s face look’s like) is: what the hell is Doop?  This week’s Wolverine & The X-Men promises the reveal and for that fact along it’s the Book of the Week. On to what I am spending my money on this week:

Quick thoughts:

Invincible Iron Man is dope as f@ck.

Happy is another Derrick Robertson/ Grant Morrison joint. Should probably settle in for a bit of the old ultra-violence.

– I hateHateHATE this new Alpha character in Amazing Spider-Man. You’re telling me that somehow Spider-Man is going to beat an all powerful teenager? Please. Peter can jump around & crack wise all he wants; Alpha (all powerful due to his infusion of Parker Particles(ugh) (ed.note: ugh.) could/should just think SM out of existence if he wanted to.  Which is why I never buy PP as a threat to anything on the cosmic level. “Oh, you’ve got jokes? Well I’ve got the Power Cosmic and I just vaporized you. So kiss my ass, I’m going to space. Later bitch.”

– The “Everything Burns” crossover between Thor & JIM is really solid; interesting to see Loki literally play every side in this conflict.

– I wonder if Hit-Girl will be full of super violence and inappropriate swearing by a 10 year old girl?

– Gambit.

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: The Unending Tide of Marvel NOW Art

This time for December solicitations!

Prepare thyself: Marvel is slated to cancel a whole spate of books and relaunch a slew of other books.  I mean, you knew that, being the savvy comic book fan you are.  But please realize that not EVERYONE knew it, so Modern Borefare is here to (Soulja Boy?) tell ’em.  Bleeding Cool (artwork source) has the run down for you but the gist is: Wolverine, Captain America And…, Uncanny X-Force? Cancelled.  Wolverine, Cable & The X-Force, All-Star X-Men, Monster’s Inc, Uncanny Avengers? Relaunched or just plain new. For you.  But not in ’92. This is 2012; embrace it!

This Week’s Comics Haul: I’m the Richest Man in the World!

At least I will be this week as there are basically zero comics coming out this week (and some super basic zero issues ZING OH SHIT DC CHEMICAL BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN)

Harvest #1

The Walking Dead #102

Before Watchmen (was whored out) Nite Owl #03

Daredevil #18 a.k.a. Cover of the Week

Dark Tower: Man in Black #04

Wonder Woman #0

Marvel Shamelessly Rips Off Battle Royale (Marvel: “No We Didn’t.”)



Don’t worry people it’s totally not Battle Royale; it’s Avengers Arena duh. Tiny bow-tied jackass Arcade (I hated your level in every video game you’ve ever appeared in) somehow scoops up a bunch of teenage mutants, dumps them on Arcade Island (which is a thing now) and makes them hunt each other down. Which is not at all how things go down in Battle Royale. But, Marvel assures us, these deaths will be real and will matter. So…who can you name in the poster above? Would their real, permanent deaths affect your comic buying or reading experience in anyway?

Thought so.

Link via The Beat.

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Nine: The In-Betweener and the Empty Coffeepot

Kentucky Jay is eating his Energon-infused cereal in the rumpus room…Hence, The In-Betweener assumes the helm for this post.

So, yeah, I found that movie you were seeking, the one with Marge Simpson, Peggy Hill, Princess Leia and Dr. Ray Stantz — Too bad that movie is the bland tearjerker from 1991, “This is My Life”. If you’ve ever wanted to see a movie starring Julie Kavner (the voice of Marge Simpson) as a stand-up comedian/single mom whose career is eclipsing her relationship to her two daughters, Kathy Najimy (the voice of Peggy Hill) as a sarcastic comedy contemporary of Kavner, Carrie Fisher as a talent agent in an intimate relationship with her Virginia Slims, and Dan Aykroyd as the plausible (translation = Not Bloody Likely), paper-snackin’ romantic interest for Kavner….well, no, nobody ordered this production. Lord Chaos watched the movie and tried to give Master Order a hug. I understand Dan Aykroyd was still in atonement for that movie with Kim Basinger as the alien…still, this is pretty untenable. Oh, and the Award for Most Memorable Cinematic Cigarette Dangle goes to…

One part of the movie makes me reallysick…the movie references the Nuh-Nuh-Nutty Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge/Betty Cooper Love Triangle. Julie Kavner and her kids engage in idle confabulation about how Veronica Always Gets Her Man and Betty lives in Perpetual Want/Seething Jealousy. Suddenly, I was reminded that Veronica ultimately DID get her man; she married Archie Andrews. As is the Course of the Universe (and I know that course like the back of my hand…actually, it IS the back of my hand), Archie also married Betty Cooper. Separate storylines indicated the weddings were merely whimsical musings. THEY WERE DREAMS!

1998’s “Godzilla” was soooo blessedly enjoyable for twenty minutes. Then, Matthew Broderick arrived with his hipster hat and even-tempered rationalizations. The movie turned into rancid sour cream. When the Living Tribunal saw the flick, his 3 Faces shared the same dumbfounded expression that read “Why couldn’t George Peppard have lived for four more years to be in this movie and Paint It Legendary?” Riddle of the Cosmos, friends, Riddle of the Cosmos…

I like Earthlings, generally, despite the rough spots. They cancelled “Jersey Shore”; I’m sure Danny DeVito and Bon Jovi are happy. Gotta tell ya, tho’ — The Ol’ Blue-and-Green-Talky-Talk-Speck of the Universe called Earth will never get it all together unless they put Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh back on Tee-Vee. That’s right, friends, I’m referring to Christian Slater. His name is part of Hollywood Royalty — “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie”, “True Romance”, “Heathers”, “Gleaming the Cube”, “Pump Up the Volume”. Why must we reject Darth Slater in his attempts to penetrate the Journey Into Blackness known as Prime-Time TV? His last three television shows – “My Own Worst Enemy”, “The Forgotten”, and “Breaking In” – did not click with audiences. Wow…aptly named titles to those shows…sometimes, I think I’m the only one in the universe(s) who notices these things…except for the Watcher.

Advice: If you step into an elevator that smells like McDonald’s hotcakes, you’d better call Alex Ross because you know you’re headed for Kingdom Come.

Oh, Galactus is running with scissors again…. Good-bye.

Best Pages: Last Week’s Comic

Not the best art, or the best plot points, or even the most clever. These were just the pages that really jumped out at me from last week’s haul.
This page sums up perfectly why Journey into Mystery is such a fun book. It’s far more clever than 80% of the other books out there. Thori gets my vote for best new character.

Danny Rand: Helping Quantify Kung-Fu Power Whenever Necessary.

Look at Bobby, speaking truth to power and (quite possibly) voicing some of the concerns of fanboys everywhere.

dude. Black Bolt. How imposing does that look? I’ve never really given the guy/Inhuman much thought but wow.  Guy is a major league ass kicker and on the weekends is a secret dudebro.

Trailer Park: Marvel Heroes

Straight from PAX! Gameplay footage from the apparently free to play (!) Marvel MMO. Sadly, unless a miracle happens, I’ll never get a chance to play this. In this one instance, boooooo having a Mac. Well, booooo for this and for The Secret World. Actually though…it’s probably better off that my gaming options are narrower, not broader.

Guess Who’s Back? Back Again?

Huzzah! After an endless X-crossover, an energy force with a bad attitude is merging once again with a human host to create a Cyclops man-thong destroying dark god; indeed, it looks like the Marvel U. will once more graced with the Dark Phoenix. May she also eat overlong annual “events”, the rotten bastards who have cancelled both NextWave AND the current iteration of The Defenders, whoever dreamed up Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe, all extraneous X-books, Wolverine’s ever shifting backstory and Peter Parker’s annoying new sidekick.
It's Dark Phoenix, bitch

Whomever transmogrifies into the Dark Phoenix this go round, I’m pretty sure this will be their theme song:

(image via Comics Beat)

After the jump, a one panel summation of why NextWave was/is completely amazing.

Continue reading

This Week’s Comics Haul:

Strong showing this week! Good to see the semi-annual appearance of Powers; I have no idea what’s happening in that book but I’ve been buying it for so long and it’s so rare that it actually comes out I feel I owe it to…me? Bendis? Marvel? My priorities are messed up. Otherwise, the Before Watchmen experiment continues while Grim Leaper concludes, Aquaman (hopefully) wraps up the Black Manta arc before heading into DC’s incredibly stupid #0 issue gimmick.  Although certain web-comic creators would vehemently disagree, Gambit is actually pretty decent. Well, decent enough to warrant a purchase of a second issue.  What did YOU buy this week?
American VampireAquaman 12Before Watchmen: Minutemen 03Grim Leaper 04Gambit 02JIMPowers 11Wolverine & Friends XO Manowar