Justice League as Jazz-Age Crime Fighters

The J.L.A. is a borderline legal bounty-hunter/vigilante group with limited governmental sanction (“Department of Justice Licensed Agency”). Made up of individuals from various walks of life, all are committed to the take-down of the rising criminal empires that threaten America.

(BoingBoing via genesischant at deviantART)

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Trailer Park Did You Know Edition: CBS’s 1997 Justice League of America Trailer & Pilot

Back in the long ago (1997, to be exact) some ballsy yet ultimately misguided studio execs at CBS got it in their heads to try and whip up a weekly series based on a comic book property (keep in mind this is waaaay before Heroes). And since all the good ones (and even not-so god ones) were probably locked up until the Singularity, they had to settle for this: The Justice League of America. The mid-to-late ’90’s super shitty version of the league. I’m surprised they didn’t shoehorn Guy Gardner in to ratchet up the awfulness. Don’t believe me? Watch the trailer below, starring everyone’s favorite, Fat Flash:

The full 80 minute (!) movie is after the jump! (I’d rather watch this than the Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern.) Continue reading

Haul Thoughts: Surprises (Bad) & Surprises (Good)

Let’s do this! Don’t forget to chime in in the comments below.

AvX 08 – IMPERIOUS REX!!! Namor has shown up in Wakanda looking to tear The Avengers a collective new butthole and he very nearly succeeds.  The opening splash page is as menacing as Namor has looked in recent memory and you see that this is not something that Wakanda will be recovering from anytime soon. Iron Fist is indignant that Iron Man and The Thunderer skip out to K’un-Lun without him, meanwhile Wakandans are being devoured by Atlantean seas serpents.  Typical rich guy.  Meanwhile Cap is all “I knew Cyclops was a dick! Forget all these corpses, I was right all along!” Typical unfrozen World War II science experiment. Anyway, Cap calls the Avengers, whom Namor proceeds to go H.A.M. on, even taking full powered blows to the dome from Red Hulk, Thing, Mjolnir, Dr. Strange and The Vision.  NAMOR AIN’T CARE and he goes on to prove this by breaking the Red Hulk’s arm like it was one of my brittle, bird-like wrists. Then he decides to set the rest of the Avengers on fire. Then super Deus Ex Machina a.k.a The Scarlet Witch shows up, somehow (ed.note: With her ill-defined powers, that’s how!) defeats Namor whom the Phoenix Force decides to ditch, flowing into the other members of the Phoenix Force. Charles Xavier’s floating bald head shows up to scold Cyclops; Cyclops tells Chuck to “Cram it with walnuts, ugly”; Cap cries. Buy? Sure, if you’ve bought the earlier seven.

The Invincible Iron Man 521 – Think I mentioned this before but WHOA. The Invincible Iron Man is awesome. If you haven’t been reading this title, go back to #500 and read them all.  I never cared for Iron Man; sure the movies got me interested and I think I picked up the book at an ideal time. So, if you’re planning on following my lead and picking up the earlier 20 issues, SPOILERS HERE Tony Stark is super-boned and the super-boner (ed.note: Really?) is non other  than the Mandarin.  Some observations: apparently 6 months have passed since issue #520 and all sorts of shenanigans have gone on, chiefly that Stark is working for the Mandarin. Side note: is the Mandarin the Marvel Universe equivalent of a beholder from Advanced Dungeons & Dragons? Seriously, check it out:

Beholder powers:

BEHOLD...er

Mandarin ring powers:

Where's the duck sauce ring?

Back to the issue at hand, literally.  Resilient (formerly Stark Resilient) takes some shots at the crappiness of the cloud and introduces their solution, the swarm (which Warren Ellis introduced in Transmetropolitan a decade ago…).  That’s one of the reasons this book is so excellent; it’s not all tights, capes & punchy-punchy.  There’s corporate espionage, futurism, science, rad armor, clever banter..so good.  Just buy it. Buy? Duh. Also, if I can’t have the Infinity Gauntlet, I’d gladly take the Mandarin’s rings.

Before Watchmen – Silk Spectre 02 – I really  like Amanda Conner’s art on this book. In fact, I feel this is tied with Ozymandias  as the Before Watchmen book with the best art. Definitely an Archie vibe going on. That being said…what the hell?! The first issue was so good where this one is…not. Not as good. The spirit of the book hasn’t really changed, but something this issue seems off.  I did like the analogs of The Beatles and the Rolling Stones as well as an appearance from Kid Charlemagne himself, Owsley Stanley and what is possibly supposed to be Frank Sinatra? I don’t know, the innocence and free-spiritedness of the first issue gets muddled with some subplot about causing Haight-Ashbury hippies to embark on acid-fueled shopping trips. Also, the Silk Spectre’s costume is highly impractical. That’s not a reason to knock the book, it’s just that even fictional teenagers are idiots. Buy? Yes, as it’s not enough to derail the series (plus you’re already halfway through at this point). But don’t prepare for the high notes of last issue.

Daredevil – 15 – High hopes for Murdock this week; was he able to meet them? Welllllll….was the arc resolved? For the most part, as it’ll most likely wrap up next month. Was the premise clever? Daredevil sans senses? Sure.  Was there anything outwardly terrible about this issue? Not especially.  So…? Can’t help you dude. Then is it a Buy? It’s not the highpoint of this excellent series, but neither was the Punisher/Spider-Man crossover.   It’s not a jumping on point, that’s for sure.

Fables 119 – Even if this series had nothing else going for it, it still has the best covers in the industry.  Before I started reading, I was really hoping that this arc would wrap up this issue or next.  But then I started reading; wow. If you’re a Fables fan, you won’t be disappointed.  Things to note: a pretty shocking death, an Angry Birds cameo and my new favorite phrase, “shit fire on Pop-Tarts”! Buy? Have you read the previous 118 issues? Then you pretty much have to, don’t you?

Justice League 11- Not going to lie, I’m kind of lost with this book.  I’m not thrilled at the supernatural bent the it’s taken either; isn’t that the purview of the Justice League Dark? The high point for this issue was probably Wonder Woman calling the Green Lantern a dickless bitch, in so many words. Also, Diana’s problem solving starts and ends with decapitation. They’ve really made her one of the most compelling characters in the whole New 52. Also a nice touch: Cyborg: “I’m not partly dead, am I?” Batman:”…of course not”. What a dick! Buy? If you’re not invested in the series at this point? It’s a pass.

Saga 05 – I’m oddly compelled to keep getting this book.  It’s clearly been building up for the past four issues and there is a bit of payoff here, but not in an equivalent amount to the rising action.  The book opens with the television-headed prince who is a/the protagonist? Antagonist? All I know is that in the future/past, robots poop.  Also, the two sides in the giant war that I (and I assume other readers) are trying to puzzle out art the “horns” and the “wings”, and a clutch of winged shock troopers drop down on our narrator  and it’s parents Alana and Marko.  SPOILERS Marko breaks his vow of nonviolence and goes apeshit, slicing through all of the shock troopers and is about to really start cutting heads, forcing Alana’s hand. END SPOILERS.  Far more happens and I think this book is finally starting to pick up.  I seem to remember Vaugh’s Runaways was a bit of a slow starter as well. Buy? At this point, while it’s still early in the series, yes, but only if you pick up the other four.  Or wait a few months and pick up the first six issues in a collected format.

The Dark Tower – The Man in Black 02 – As I’ve already read all of The Dark Tower  books, it seems a bit foolish to then buy them in serialized comic format.  But it’s still a powerful series and Robin Furth & Peter David are doing extremely solid work on this and all the previous Dark Tower  series.  Buy? If you like The Dark Tower, all the trades are worth picking up.  It definitely fills in gaps that were only hinted at in the series.

Wonder Woman 11 – Sometimes I get my comics & video games confused, like with all the Olympians showing up in WW and I find myself thinking, “Didn’t Kratos kill all you?”. This issue isn’t as good as the previous two in Hades, but it seems to be setting the stage for a pretty epic confrontation with Apollo and Hera, so I’ll check in next month. Buy? Not as a starting point, but this isn’t an issue that’ll make you drop the book either.

X-O Manowar 03 – The payoff! Aric and the X-O Manowar class armor make nice (it grows Aric’s hand back, he disintegrates aliens) until an explosion sends them flying outside of the ship. Aric apparently has his Dorothy moments, as he clicks his gold-and-powder blue heels together, disappears from deep space and reappears above modern Rome, where he crashes into the Coliseum. I’m interested to see if they go back to the “unfrozen viking business magnate” schtick Valiant used the first time with X-O. Buy? No brainer. Get the other two while you’re at it and transport yourself back to ’94.

Whew!  Sound off in the comments about your thoughts on my thoughts, on what you picked up this week, on what you refrained from picking up this week or just general what-have-you’s.  Goodnight Cleveland, where ever you are!

This Week’s Comics Haul – Sweltering in the City Edition

It’s too hot to even move; best thing to do is find solace in some air conditioning with a stack of comics. What I picked up this week (And a rare show of restraint!); what did you get? Tell us in the comments!

AvX 08

Before Watchmen Silk Spectre 02

Daredevil 15

Fables 119

Invincible Iron Man 521

Justice League 11

Saga 05

The Dark Tower: The Man in Black 02

Wonder Woman 14

X-O Manowar 03

Books I’ve picked up in the past but this week I was able to show restraint and not buy:

Wolverine ($5 bucks??! C’mon) & Fantastic Four. . Granted it’s only two but it’s a start!

A strong crop of books this week; it’s difficult to pick out which one or two could be the stand-outs this week. But picking two, I’d say it’ll be X-O Manowar and… Daredevil. Daredevil ?!? Yes, DD. I like the current arc, hell, I’ve liked the entire relaunch. It’s a fun book that still feels dangerous for the characters. It’s a delicate balancing act and Mark Waid pulls it off.
Reviews and thoughts on these in the next few days, along with the kick off of the MB Interview series!

Weekend Links: Keeping You Cool Despite the Brutal Heat

The heat; it is inescapable, really.  At least here in the heart of NYC, where to go outside is to take your life in to your very hands.  The furious Sun has come back with a vengeance and your pale skin is the sacrifice it desires.  ALL WILL BURN BEFORE ITS NUCLEAR-FUELED MIGHT. So stay inside, won’t you, and check out these  tasty links:

Cthulu Lego sets for all! Did you know it’s actually Lego, not Legos? Look at that, already smarter.

What if Pixar made a Justice League  movie? Well, I think the immediate answer is that it would be watchable, unlike all of their non-Batman flicks. But don’t get too hot & sweaty over it, as Pixar & Marvel are both owned by Disney.  Maybe there’s a cheap Dreamworks knockoff in the works?

You like Minecraft? You like Game of Thrones? Then you’re in luck: some intrepid/insane gamers have been busy re-creating all of Westeros in Notch’s super-addictive construction..game? Simulator? Way of life? Whatever it is, make sure to click the link above and check out all the construction going on.  It’s mind bottling.

Have you been watching Video Game High School?  What do you think so far?  I kind of enjoyed the first episode but haven’t gotten around to the rest.  But never fear! (ed note: Who, exactly?)  I’ve gots you  (ed. note: Kotaku’s “gots” you) covered with the first nine episodes ready to watch. Watch them and let us know what you think!

Speaking of watching and video games, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show is now on Netflix.  Maybe it’s not amazing, but it certainly beats going outside.

Here’s a recipe for S’mores Pancakes;this has nothing to do with either video games or comic books but damn, they look awesome. LOOK AT THEM.

Haul Thoughts: An Excellent Week

Crazy week; no time for jibba-jabba though, let’s dive right in with this week’s Haul Thoughts:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century #03Best book of the week. It’s going to take forever to unpack this. This, plus the other two entries in the Century series require another, closer read.  In fact, I think it deserves it’s own post. There’s just so many bits to unravel & think about; it feels like I’d need to team up with a historian and a someone with a 20th Century Lit background.

Hit Girl #01– This series wil serve as a bridge between the events of Kick-Ass 1 Kick-Ass 2. I can’t tell if I’m interested in the Hit-Girl vs. Mean Girls thing it seems to be shaping up to be.

Manhattan Projects #04- There seems to be a re-occuring dualities (or at least multiples) trend in MP; you have the multiple Openheimers inhabiting one body and now you have twin Einsteins.  Hickman’s doing wonderful things with this series and it should be added to your pull ist post haste.

Batman Inc #02 – Still really liking this book, even though a)it’s most about Talia Al’Ghul (I don’t care) and b)it seems to only be somewhat concerned with the events of the last issue, instead spending the vast majority of time going over Talia’s upbringing and the ongoing chess match she has going with her father.

Dark Knight #10 – I enjoy the move in recent years (Batman Begins, Arkham Asylum, this) to make the Scarecrow super f’n creepy.  If it’s not sewing his own lips shut then bloodily mumbling, it’s wearing a burlap sack over his head (which we all know is the scariest thing one can wear) and ditching the stupid farmers hat.  One question though: Com. Gordon makes mention of the events from The Killing Joke; how/where does that fit into a post-52 world?  When did it happen? Will it be addressd?

Before Watchmen: Nite-owl #01– What’s with the catchphrases ad cheers after Mason (original Nite-Owl) stops some perps? It was embarrassing. Stop it. I did like Rorschach busting balls though.  Who knew a mentally scared quasi-midget had jokes?  Though I guess he does show his funny side periodically in Watchmen, what with his “human bean juice” and “Big Figure. Small problem” lines. I also enjoyed the aftermath of the Crimebusters meeting which is only shown from in the original series to move the Comedian/Laurie story further.

FF # 19 – Kids adventure hour. Don’t care, though CBR gave it 5-stars.

Incredible Hulk #10– I really should stop reading this as it’s gotten quite bad in the last few issues.  But every time I say that, an interesting line pops up that makes we ant to keep reading, like in this issue when the villain of the week says that after he kills the Hulk he’ll “eat grilled American & make love to many bears” which is just funny enough to get my money next month.

Justice League #10- Nothing much happening here. Or did I completely miss something?

Ultimate Comics Ultimates #12– I enjoyed Reed’s brief homage to John Turturro’s character in Miller’s Crossing,   “…When you smart off to me it ruins it”.  What’s up with Ghost Kid Stark? How could Reed have injected the Hulk with a needle? Isn’t the Hulk’s skin supposed to be SOMEWHAT more durable than your average humans? If so, wouldn’t the needle shatter? C’mon, this is brain science. The ending though was ultimately (ha!) satisfying, if a bit drawn out.  This arc could’ve cut a few issues and been much better.  Still, ya takes what you can get.

Wolverine & The X-men #12Second best book of the week. Even the AvX tie-in couldn’t ruin this. By the way, I love Kid Gladiator as a character, even more so after he smashed Giant Man (screw you, Pym!) right in the eyeball to which Pym exclaimed ” YOU PUNCHED ME IN MY EYEBALL!” Glad that original X-men fighting each other is raised, as  when Ice man and Beast square off.   Oh, and Thor basically calls Namor a fag.  Really.  Spider-Woman calling out Kid Gladiators new power with a “Stop making me feel creepy” was a fun throw away line. I hat ethe name the Phoenix Five, makes them sound like a boy band as opposed to the most powerful force on Earth. Another clever line from now-outed gay bigot Thor to Rachel grey”On your feet mind witch. Thor would have words with thee”. Hank McCoy tells Bobby Drake his little Ice-Man clones don’t taste half bad; Drake commands McCoy to “stop eating me!” However, you’re telling em that Rachel Grey can sneak up on Black Widow, super-spy? Nyet.  WHEW. Then the book closes with an excellent line from Kid Gladiator as his dad & Warbird show up.  Ok, so I clearly really liked this issue and was determined to give you a page-by-page description.  You’re welcome.

Justice League Dark #10 – interesting enough but I’m losing focus. Don’t know who these people are. Argus? Wha?

Spider-Men #02 – Why are they fighting? Oh right, because it’s a crossover and they have to initially. This isn’t really all that interesting. I’m not going to miss anything by not continuing to read this.

Fatale #06 – Woody Allen appears at a decadent Hollywood sex party! Brubaker is good at drawing you in then stringing out a story. Some sort of cult/Scientology parable here, along with something terrifying on film. 

American Vampire #28 – a very unexpected return. Why aren’t you reading this?

This Week’s Comics Haul

No time for love, Dr. Jones! And no time for thoughts on this week’s haul just yet.  Soon though, friends.  Soon.  This week though, instead of alphabetically, I’ll sort my acquisition list by the order in which I am most excited to read them, with number one OF COURSE being:

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – Century #03 – This requires its own post.

The Manhattan Projects #04 – How good is this series? Strong hints of Planetary here, and in all the good ways.

Batman Incorporated #02 – I’m slowly turning from a Marvel Zombie…

Hit Girl #01 – I can’t help it, I love Millars stuff (with the exception of The Unfunnies which was definitely truth in advertising.

Before Watchmen – Nite Owl #01 – I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the other BW titles, so I’ve some hopes for this.

Justice League #10 – Hopefully the snark from the Lantern & the Flash is met with furious Bat-fisticuffs in this issue.
Wolverine and the X-Men #12 – Go back to whimsy & cleverness, dammit!

American Vampire #28 – Read all of the back issues over the past two weeks; this is a solid series.

Fatale #06 – I can honestly say that I like everything Brubaker writes. Criminal, Incognito and now Fatale.  His fedora & moustache obviously contains all of his writing powers, I must have them!

Justice League Dark #10 – Don’t auite recall what happened last issue, but it was clearly interesting enough for me to pick up the following one.

Batman The Dark Knight #10 – Is Finch still on this book?

FF #19 – Think it’s going to be a wrap on this series too.  Do we really need two Fantastic Four/Future Foundation books?

Incredible Hulk #10 – Didn’t I say I was done buying this series?

Spider-Men #02 – If this is another 20 pages of set-up I’m going to be pissed.

Ultimate Comics Ultimate #12 – I hope everyone dies.