Trailer Park – INFINITY WAR

ARGLEBARGLEAAAAHHHHHHH

Things to note:

  1. Hulk busts into the Sanctum Sanctorum (0:12)
  2. Human Vision (0:17)
  3. Super Hulkbuster armor (0:26)
  4. Black Widow has blonde hair (?) (0:27)
  5. Thanos speaks! (0:45)
  6. Weird sky thing (?) in NYC (0:57)
  7. Loki with the Cosmic Cube (1:07)
  8. Thanos arrives on Earth (1:09)
  9. New Spider-Man costume (1:17)
  10. Thor’s in some machine, doing a thing (1:20)
  11. A dark elf (Malekith, maybe?) (1:21)
  12. Bearded Captain America (1:26)
  13. Super Hulkbuster armor in effect (1:29)
  14. Black (Blonde?) Widow stabs someone with a spear (1:30)
  15. Dr. Strange’s magic fails him (1:33)
  16. Hippy Captain America throws a right cross in the desert (1:36)
  17. Thanos chokeslams Spider-Man (1:37)
  18. Loki stabs the Vision in the face gem (1:47)
  19. Thanos drops a gem on ’em…right into his FUCKING GAUNTLET (1:44)
  20. They call him “ol’ Thanos 2Gems” (1:49)
  21. Thanos kills (?) Iron Man (1:51)
  22. Winter Soldier standing shoulder to shoulder with what looks to be Wakandans (1:53)
  23. Winter Solider, War Machine, Captain America (all in black…like the Omen), The Hulk, someone from the Black Panther movie AND The Black Panther go out for a jog (1:59)
  24. Thor lost an eye (2:15)
  25. Who the hell are you guys? (2:19)

Did I miss anything?

This looks great but some questions:

  • How are they going to cover Thanos gathering ALL of the Infinity gems (they are gems, not stones you bastards), setting himself up as God and then losing, all in the span of 2, maybe 2.5 hours?
  • I wonder if they are going to actually kill off Iron Man, the Hulk, Blonde Widow, etc to make way for the next gen (ie cheaper) of Marvel superheroes?

Marvel Announces “Civil War 2”, Hopes to Have Secret Wars Issue #9 Completed By Then

civil-war-2_0

Marvel, never one to leave well enough alone while also subscribing to H.L. Mencken’s maxim of “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public” has announced a sequel to its fairly decent mega-crossover from ’06-’07, Civil War, which had “fundamentally shaken the bedrock of the Marvel Universe in new and completely unforeseen ways”(i.e. no it hadn’t).

Creatively titled “Civil War 2: Even More Civil”, bald B. Brian Blair non-impersonator Brian Michael Bendis sez, “The original CIVIL WAR is one of the most important Marvel comics ever, and we are all very excited to have come up with what we hope is a story worthy of the title,” echoes Bendis. “If you are scared of earth shattering Marvel events where no one is safe…be afraid, be very afraid.”

I think they should have gone with their original idea, CYBILL WAR, in which actress Cybill Shepard acquires the Infinity Gauntlet and proceeds to re-write history by placing herself in every award winning film and stage production since the dawn of mankind and the heroes of the Marvel Universe have to unite one more time to stop her cosmic menace.

Meanwhile, issue #9 of the greatest Marvel crossover of all-time, SECRET WARS, has been tentatively schedule to hit shelves 1 month before the inevitable heat death of the universe.