Only Sleeping? I Hope It Never Wakes Up

Image“This one is behind us now. We are taking Medal of Honor out of the rotation, and have a plan to bring year-over-year continuity to our shooter offerings.”

“We struggled with two challenges: the slowdown that impacted the entire sector and poor critical and commercial reception for Medal of Honor Warfighter. Medal of Honor was an obvious miss. The game was solid, but the focus on combat authenticity did not resonate with consumers. Critics were polarized and gave the game scores which were, frankly, lower than it deserved.”

This is the message the EA has left for its fans regarding its Medal of Honor (MOH) series.  Competing with the likes of the Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises, it seems like EA has decided to pull the plug on a game that, to say it bluntly, just wasn’t that fun.  I can only say this based on the MOH version that I played from 2010, but based on other reviews and common sense, I had a feeling the second one was going to be substandard.  It brought nothing new to the FPS franchise.  The game itself was buggy, the level design was poor, and it could be added to the list of FPS games that story is just so unflattering and uninteresting. moh2

EA should cut its losses and focus on sports and racing games. Its clearly not ready, or capable, of participating in the FPS wars. If I wanted to play a multiplayer game that was using the Frostbite Engine, I would just play Battlefield. Why would they use the same multiplayer in a different game? An article has just came out stating that the MOH franchise is not dead, just sleeping. WHY?   Just focus on Battlefield. Focus on Need for Speed.  Focus on the awesome sports games you pump out every year.  FIFA 13 was the highest selling sports game EVER.  And it can keep getting better, as long as EA cuts the Mr. Me Too crap with the FPS genre.

I will always be an EA fan, and when I rented MOH I was really hoping for a fun and engaging game. Sadly I got a boring shoot-by-numbers with aspects stole from other games that didn’t improve on the source.  Consoles will get better, Battlefield and COD will keep refining and improving and leaving old franchises in the dust. Medal of Honor shouldn’t just be put to sleep, it should properly be cryogenically frozen and not thawed out until Battlefield and Call of Duty crash & burn.

VPH Looks Ahead: FIFA 13

(ed. note: Intrepid contributor ViciousPjuraHead is spending the summer in Italy and will be filing dispatches of a gaming or comic related nature, when he gets around to it.

The fact that the keyword for the FIFA 13 is “unpredictable” has me salivating; for as long as I’ve played the Fifa franchise I’ve always thought that the gameplay was too calculated and too precise.  If I could’ve communicated one thing to EA over the past three years it would’ve been, “Why don’t you watch five soccer games on TV, and everything that happens in those five games, should (possibly) happen in the video game”.  EA’s slogan is “if it’s in the game, it’s in the game “ right?.  (I’ll let John Terry kneeing Alexis Sanchez in the leg slip on this one).  Attacking Intelligence, Complete Dribbling, First Touch Control, Tactical Free Kicks and an updated Player Impact Engine are all massive updates and I cannot wait to get my hands on it.

The fact that International competitions are playing a big part in the game is just as important as the gameplay improvements.  I am much more of an International soccer fan than a club fan (maybe because I am history teacher and Nationalistic undertones among games always makes me excited). In Euro 2012 how awesome would It have been if Germany was placed in Group 1 instead of Greece?  Forget the Group of Death (Russia, Germany, Poland, Czech Republic), it’d be called the Group of Rancor, ’40’s edition.

The Skills Games are an important enhancement; now I’ll be able to effectively learn what skills to use and when, as opposed to randomly using a skill move and hoping (and usually failing) to get by my opponent.  I’m a bit worried though, as it’ll be helpful for casual gamers like myself but I have a feeling it may make the best even better.

I’ll give this year’s Career Mode an honest to goodness fair chance.  I was always hesitant in the past because a 38 game season was way too long in my opinion.  With the deeper career mode, a more realistic transfer market, and the opportunity to start as a rookie in a teams youth academy and work your way up to the top, this can only make you a better player in the long run both in offline and online modes.  I like the possibility of taking your country to World Cup Glory, either by playing for a country or being the coach. I’m taking  Zambia to the Cup, baby!

Nothing new has been mentioned about Ultimate Team as of yet, but I’m really hoping they keep up the good work and continue to make fun and accessible for all gamers.  My only gripe is that for the two years I have never gotten a player from a pack who was more than an 85 (Stekelenburg) who everybody had anyway.  I have spent easily 50-75 dollars the last two years and still cannot manage to get anyone of significance.  Don’t know if it’s luck but here is hoping my luck changes for FIFA 13.

Trailer Park: FPS Trailer Off!



Taking bets now on how long & how often I will deny that I am going to buy Black Ops 2 and then break down and eventually buy it.  I think for the original Black Ops it was a week before the release that I still insisted I wasn’t buying it.  But then, like always, I started watching the trailers and the previews and reading the reviews and then, well, tell ’em Fry:Me

VPH Review: “Shadows of the Damned” a.k.a. I Don’t Want to Play Video Games Anymore


Let me first start out by saying  I had zero interest in playing this game but after a year of badgering from imperviousrex and him literally showing it into my hand while shoving me out of his apartment the other week after poker I figured why not.  A list of quotes, then, from me while I was playing the game:

  • “I’ve never played a game where you get a trophy for adjusting the brightness.”
  • “Apparently being trapped in an invisible corner and tapping X to turn around just makes the camera completely schiz out…and now I just died. Thanks, terrible camera.”
  • “This isn’t the worst soundtrack ever, but that’s only because I haven’t heard every soundtrack ever.”
  • “So apparently when you try to jump over something,  instead you stop and reload. Fantastic”
  •  “I can’t believe I’m still playing this.”
  • “Seriously? Are you serious right now?”
  • “(unintelligible cursing)”
  • (get up from couch and walk around trying to keep calm)
  • “Come on man (followed by kicking the controller across the floor)!!!”

I lost/burnt the rest of my notes. To say this game was a frustrating, non-fun experience would be underselling the frustration & non-fun of the whole ordeal. I think Star Wars: The Force Unleashed was a better game and I HATED that game with a fiery passion. I would like to think that, had I not heard that this game was “super fun” ” really funny” “dark” clever” and some other adjectives I forgot I would’ve played this with at least a bit of objectivity.

No. You know, just no.  It’s terrible, terrible EXPERIENCE. Taken as a whole, (story, graphics, sound, voices, acting, writing) it’s breathtakingly bad.  Suda51 must have all sorts of dirt on EA’s executive board.

…if i take a step back, there were at least two tiny, slightly not as awful parts of the game:

  • The Big Boner (which I will leave up to those of you brave enough to play this game to figure out exactly what that is / could be)
  • The 2-D  papercraft sidescroller levels. I thought that was a clever & unexpected direction to move in.  So kudos there, you creepy weirdo.

I could never tell whether having your unkillable, undead girlfriend Paula (who the Devil may have raped to death) chase you was scary or annoying. It’s your classic Indiana Jones v. The Boulder chase scene, where Paula’s the boulder and if she catches you (and she will. Many, many, many times) instead of being mercifully squished and whisked off to archeological heaved, you’re forced to repeatedly re-enact the chase until you can finally get away.  Terrible.

As I’ve yet to come up with a clever rating scheme (ed. note: unbuttoned shirts?) we’ll just go with this in the meantime:

You get

(additional words & edits by imperviousrex)