I Can’t Go For That: Dishonored Disappoints, Dead Island (hopefully) Delights **UPDATED**

dead Dishonored_PS3

Until last October, when I bought Sleeping Dogs, I’d finished every video game I’d ever bought. Ok, clarification, every console video game I’ve ever bought; c;mon, NOBODY finishes any of the mobile game they buy. Even honestly terrible games I’d slog through (Shadows of the Damned, I’m looking right at you). But I simply cannot get into Dishonored. I don’t know if it’s the steampunk setting, I don’t know if it’s the weaponry, I don’t know if it’s because every character in-game looks like they’re wearing a pair of Hulk Hands. WHATEVER the issue, it’s not my huckleberry.

Most games I’m sold on before I even pop them in the console; even if I’m on the fence about something, I’ll generally come around in the first few hours. I’m 10-12 hours deep into Dishonored at this point and it’s yet to elicit the “man, I can’t wait to play this game” feeling that I usually do get with a new game. Especially one that’s on almost everyone’s year-end Best Of lists. Another issue I havewith the game, which isn’t even Dishonored’s fault, is that I can’t shake the feeling that if this is what Bioshock Infinite will be like, except far superior.  So if a vastly superior version of a game I’m currently playing and not terribly invested in is coming out in two months, it doesn’t make any sense for me to continue playing the  inferior version.  It’s not like I don’t have other games to play; which of course brings me to Dead Island.

This game has barely been on my radar; I’d heard some rumblings when it came out, about how it’s Fallout-with-zombies (there were zombies in Fallout and they were fucking terrifying) but I’d also heard it was incredibly broken. Unplayably broken. But viciouspjurahead swears up and down that it’s now fixed and incredibly fun (ed.note: viciouspjurahead does not own this game nor has he ever played it.). 

I really needed the flimsiest of  excuses to stop playing Dishonored and a fixed open world item collecting/zombie killing game sounds like the best kind of flimsy excuse.  MSSRS. Hall & Oates want to chime in on this whole thing as well:

For those that have been paying attention and are saying “HEY! What happened to your plan to play Far Cry 3 next?!” to you I say “FIE”! Also, I’m getting to it. I’ll do you a deal: send me a copy of Far Cry 3 for PS3 and I’ll bump it up in the queue.

This may be a case of drastically burying the lede, but I think what’s really going on here is that as I’ve gotten older, all I really want is derivatives of things I’ve already played & enjoyed. If you look at my game library, it’s mostly comprised of sequels and sequels-of-sequels. You can make the argument that maybe I should get away from a console lacking an indy scene. You could indict the entire video game industry for not taking a chance on new IP and instead playing it safe with yearly retreads. You could then counter that argument using Curt Schilling as the poster child for the risks of new IP. Even though I say I want new gaming experiences,my limited amount of free time almost demands the comfort of something I’ve played before. I don’t know; maybe I’m just a really bad impulse shopper. Interesting to think about, regardless.  Ok, enough prattling! It’s time for some straight up zombie murder. Though you can’t really kill something that’s already dead. So, howzabout: it’s time for some straight up zombie-dismemberment-until-they-stop-moving! Eh, not as catchy.

FUN FACT:  If you google the phrase “i’m a zombie and i’m an asshole” this is the first image that Google returns:


UPDATE 01/15/2013 9:00am: I had more fun in the first 10 minutes of Dead Island than I did in the 10 hours I spent with Dishonored. Hot damn this game is fun.

VPH: Hey Bethesda, Thanks for Not Telling Me About Dishonored feat. Impervious Rex

How did ANOTHER game that is getting great reviews sneak under my radar? Clearly the marketing attempts of the various video games companies are not reaching me. IGN has got my hook up though, giving Dishonored an AMAZING 9.2 review score.  Maybe this will take the place of the Skyim DLC issues that the PS3 has been having, which based on the latest Twitter update from Bethesda, isn’t coming anytime soon. Bethesda’s even said “It’s our issue to solve, not the PS3’s or Sony’s“.

Now I’m following Bethesda on Twitter to find out what new games they’re releasing. Not going to let another gem slip through my net (ed. note: mixed metaphors much?)! I just don’t know how I can fit Dishonored into my rigorous schedule of FIFA13 and Borderlands 2. I may have to take an extended sabbatical…from life.

Damn you Bethesda and your open world, incredibly addicting, life sucking games.


*A-hem* I really do want this game.  After Borderlands 2, it’s the game I am most looking forward to this Fall.  My previous M.O. has always been to try and track down a street-date breaking early release (which is actually fairly easy here in NYC) and just play a game ’til the wheels fall off.  However, this runs into direct conflict with my other video game M.O.: No New Games Until You’ve Finished The Current One.  I admit it: I can’t multitask my entertainment. I can’t play two games at the same time, I can’t read two books at the same time, I can’t date two girls at the same time (such a problem, believe me). So how do I reconcile my freakish, OCD-esque level of need to buy a game early with the fact it’s just going to sit on my shelf for an indeterminate amount of time until finishing whatever the current game of the moment is? Intense Therapy.

But it also helps when its a Bethesda game. Look , I love Bethesda. Fallout 3 is one of my favorite games of all time. But that shit was broken. Fallout: New Vegas was broken. Skyrim was broken. How could Dishonored be any different? I want it to be, I need it to be. I just don’t think it will be. So until I can gather a consensus that the game is playable for more than 15 minutes without it locking up, I’ll be content ranging across Pandora, picking up bazillions of guns.

Modern Borefare: What We’re Looking Forward To in October

Well, definitely looking forward to New York Comic Con ’12! Speaking of, look what arrived today:
it's mah badge

The best part of the Pro badge is being able to access the show floor on Thursday before a large percentage of NYCC attendees,allowing me to  roll around the floor in a barely controlled frenzy, grabbing everything that isnt nailed down and gawking at everything before it’s been spoiled by the masses on Friday. I’m a Con snob, I’M SORRY.

Two weeks after that I am surrending my singlehood and getting married then jetting off to exotic locales for my post-wedding vacation (honeymoon is a dumb name. Deal with it).
In between, I am definitely looking forward to the end of Marvel’s AvX, the start of Rot World in DC Comic’s Swamp Thing and Animal Man, and Dishonored & Assassin’s Creed 3 on the PS3 while trying to wrap up Borderlands 2. Are you playing Borderlands 2? If not, you should be. We’re going to attempt another Modern Borefare Game Club for Borderlands 2, so grab the game and participate!
Perhaps my iPhone 5 will show up. (UPDATE: It arrives tomorrow! Fuzzah!). Also, I’m fairly excited for Looper, one of the few movies this year that I’ve actually been looking forward to (the others being, Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The DarkKnight Rises and The Master).
What am I excited for in October? Oh, nothing much, just EVERYTHING.
As I do every year, I’ll be celebrating the Halloween season by completely ignoring my family and friends in favor of watching 31 scary movies and blogging about every unholy one of them at 31 Flavors of Terror. I’m setting myself up for a letdown but I’m particularly optimistic about SinisterFrankenweenie and maybe even Silent Hill: Revelation. Last year I overextended myself by mixing in three weekly TV shows and a bunch of other random crap. This year I don’t have time for that nonsense because the wife and I recently produced our very own little monster, who I’m excited to see turn 6 months old in October. But, yeah, mostly excited about the movies.
I’m looking forward to my second child.  Before that happens though I’m literally working day and night in the office (regular work) or at home (getting ready for Baby #2 work).  Definitely looking forward to playing Madden more (yeah right) and the return of the Joker in Batman (the only comic I get monthly).
Vicious Pjurahead:

On the game front I’m pretty solid right now until the end of the month. I’m playing Borderlands 2 and FIFA 13. I don’t know why but I just rented Tekken Tag 2 but I can’t see playing it much as long as my FIFA career is thriving. Towards the end of the month we have Medal of Honor and Assassins Creed 3. Also, sneaking might be the possible PSN download of Jeopardy. Knowing that its connected to the PSN it might have multiplayer and it might also update its questions (or answers in this case) often is appealing. That’s  await and see though.On the music front nothing other than Muses The 2nd Law. As for movies Argo looks solid and hopefully next week I will be checking out The Master and Looper. Anyone wanna come to England with me the end of October for the Skyfall premiere? If you buy the flights, hotels and pay for me to miss school those days I will buy the movie tickets and a small popcorn we can both share.

And finally, my boy ImperviousRex is getting married and I’m a groomsman! Couldn’t be happier for him. Drop him a line and make sure to congratulate him.

Check Out These Kills from the Upcoming Bethesda Game, Dishonored

I’ve got high hopes for this game and I’m expecting that it’ll be more than just a Victorian-era Bioshock clone.  It comes out on October 9th, which ensures that either I will not play it until 2013 sometime or I’m just going to have to blaze through Borderlands 2. On the other hands, I AM looking forward to exploding people with rats.

After the jump, you can watch the official trailer as well as some other play through clips. Continue reading