Panel Picks – Back in the Four Color Saddle Again

As I’ve been busy stuffing myself with every form of candied & alcoholic body poison I could get my hands on for the past (2) month(s), all of my panel picks have been sitting around, gathering digital dust. NO MORE. I could dole them out to you but PSHAW. Besides, that’s why page jumps are for. So to quote everyone’s favorite modern day philosopher-cum-culinary wizard, “Come along and ride on a gangster’s paradise”. Wait, no, that’s not right.

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Let’s start off on a negative note! MAN do I hate this panel. That may be the worst looking Hulk I’ve ever seen in a comic. I know he’s supposed to be a goofy green monster who wears purple pants, but he’s also The Strongest One There Is. Don’t make him look like The Most Retarded One There Is. Also, the Avengers has a pretty deep roster of some serious powerhouses; if you’re going to an alien planet, don’t you want them, not the Black Widow & Hawkeye? Oh, the Black Widow is going to seduce the alien squid king? NYET.

photo 1On the flip side, this I REALLY like.  Pretty majestic posing on Cap’s part and a fairly deep roster of Avenger ass-kickers behind him, though I was hard pressed to name them all. Also, is that a tear on Cap’s face or has his Breathe Right strip come loose?Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.34.57 PM

The Joker’s face gives me a bad case of the willies. What must the inside of his peeled-off face smell like that this point? Extra creepiness points for the sweat (drool?) hanging off of his chin. And the fact that there are FLIES CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE OF HIS FACE.

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Ok, now it probably smells worse. This reminds me of that scene in the second Preacher arc where Cassidy’s friend-turned-serial-killer cuts a guys face off, then nails it back onto his skull. Upside down. Garth Ennis is a daaaaaaaaaark dude. The visual of the Joker’s eye’s peering out of his own stretched-out mouth is…a disturbing one that I will be including on Christmas cards this year.

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Haw haw he sure does murder a ton of people!! Oh, that Logan!  Why yes, he DOES watch over a large number of children, why do you ask?

I really had no idea where Bendis was going with this arc in All new X-Men; apparently I can’t see the forest for the trees as it was(ed.note: umm…duh) a way to re-Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.32.53 PMintroduce Jean Grey to the Marvel U. Must suck to be 16 though, and be told by a huge dude who’s covered in blue fur that you’re going to die. Multiple times. But is it any worse than wearing that yellow-and-green costume? Where do the X-Men even get their costumes from? Does/did Charles Xavier have a seamstress & a tailor on staff? “More pouches, dammit!” every X-team member, 1990 – 1999.

WAY more after the jump, including some super blasphemy, missing limbs & brain odors to start off 2013 right!

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This Week’s Comics Haul – Is Time No Longer a Thing?

Didn’t I JUST buy the previous issue of most of these titles? What is going on? Does my understanding of how time works no longer apply? Bah! Questions for later; comics to read.

You know, I picked up Journey into Mystery 646 (start of the non-Kid Loki JiM) featuring Sif and it wasn’t bad! It’s not my new favorite or anything, but I’m intrigued enough to see where it goes. Panel picks will be up later in the day to showcase some of the other books I read last week. In other news, Uncanny Avengers handily wins Cover of the Week this week with the crazy good Red Skull cover by John Cassaday. Glad to see that Before Watchmen returns after it’s weirdly long hiatus, with Ozymandias, which is probably the best book of the lot.

This Week’s Comics Haul – Nah Nah Naaaaah Gonna’ Have a Good Time

Bonus The Walking Dead 103 variant cover by Chris Giarrusso!

Picks this week:

Wonder Woman #13

Chew #29

The Walking Dead #103

Daredevil #19 (Cover of the Week)

Hawkeye #3

The Mighty Thor #21

Harbinger #5 (ok, also  Cover of the Week)

X-O Manowar #6

Random Thoughts

– “Everything Burns” wraps up this week, convienently to coincide with the launch of the much maligned (by me) Marvel NOW. Here’s hoping for an adequate payoff for such a buildup.

– Valiant stuff keeps getting better; I had the chance to talk with a couple of Valiant execs at NYCC and even though I may have come off like a fawning, sweaty fanboy (like all fanboys, ever) they were generally very enthused to hear from me and talk about the future (a little bit) & direction they were headed.  Confirmed that Turok, Solar & Magnus were probably lost and gone forever, but the rest of the cast & crew of Valiant will be showing up with increasing frequency over the course of the next 18 months.  I asked them about Rai and was told, “Just wait, we’ve got big plans for Rai.”

– How ’bout that Daredevil cover? Wow.

– Depending on what happens in Wonder Woman, I may drop the book.

– I love Double Barrel. Go & investigate!

This Week’s Comics Haul: Not So Many Comics, But At Least Now I Can Buy Lunch

Random Thoughts

Invincible Iron Man is Still dope as f@$k.

– I’m only buying Uncanny Avengers because up until I have it in my hands, I refuse to believe this is an actual book and that’s its actual cover.

Archer & Armstrong continues to be an incredibly fun read.

– Guess who’s back? Back again? Joker’s back. Tell Batman. (Remember when Eminiem was a cultural force?)


This Week’s Comics Haul: One Crossover Ends (Yay!), Another Begins. IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

Quick thoughts:

– Get ready to suck hot vengeance, Cyclops!

– How incredible is that Rorschach cover?

– Both Defenders and Sweet Tooth are wrapping up soon; savor them whilst you can!

– I’m super stoked for Rot World.  Animal Man & Swamp Thing have been the absolute best thing since the New 52 launched.  Let’s hope DC can keep it going for another year (strong doubts).

– Image’s Danger Club is super violent but really compelling.  Interesting villain too, without spoiling anything.

This Week’s Comics Haul: The Origin of Doop > Everything Else

Did you read Peter Milligan & Mike Allred’s X-Statix / X-Factor? NO? Hide yourself from the rest of society out of the deepest shame. It’s so weird and so clever and so good.  Damn, I’m going to have to re-read the entire series now.  Why am I bringing up a long dead series on New Comic Book Day? BECAUSE…apparently the answer to the comic book question I’ve most wanted to know (no, not what Darkhawk’s face look’s like) is: what the hell is Doop?  This week’s Wolverine & The X-Men promises the reveal and for that fact along it’s the Book of the Week. On to what I am spending my money on this week:

Quick thoughts:

Invincible Iron Man is dope as f@ck.

Happy is another Derrick Robertson/ Grant Morrison joint. Should probably settle in for a bit of the old ultra-violence.

– I hateHateHATE this new Alpha character in Amazing Spider-Man. You’re telling me that somehow Spider-Man is going to beat an all powerful teenager? Please. Peter can jump around & crack wise all he wants; Alpha (all powerful due to his infusion of Parker Particles(ugh) (ed.note: ugh.) could/should just think SM out of existence if he wanted to.  Which is why I never buy PP as a threat to anything on the cosmic level. “Oh, you’ve got jokes? Well I’ve got the Power Cosmic and I just vaporized you. So kiss my ass, I’m going to space. Later bitch.”

– The “Everything Burns” crossover between Thor & JIM is really solid; interesting to see Loki literally play every side in this conflict.

– I wonder if Hit-Girl will be full of super violence and inappropriate swearing by a 10 year old girl?

– Gambit.

This Week’s Comics Haul: I’m the Richest Man in the World!

At least I will be this week as there are basically zero comics coming out this week (and some super basic zero issues ZING OH SHIT DC CHEMICAL BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN)

Harvest #1

The Walking Dead #102

Before Watchmen (was whored out) Nite Owl #03

Daredevil #18 a.k.a. Cover of the Week

Dark Tower: Man in Black #04

Wonder Woman #0

This Week’s Haul: I Need a Saga! What’s the Saga?

This week’s releases solidifies my hypocrisy: I will bitch endlessly about these DC zero issues even as I’m walking out of the store with them. But as much as I hate that about myself, I love the Defenders, the current direction of Iron Man and everything that Valiant puts out. So it’s a trade off then. Of course, I could always just not buy the things I don’t want. Preposterous idea, I know.

Bonus Everything Burns artwork!