Top 10 Modern Borefare Posts of All Time. ALL TIME!!!

This site has been around for four (count ’em) years? Damn. We’ve covered a ton of stuff in that time too (though not too recently; thanks adulthood) but the following are our Top Ten Posts of Alllllll Tiiiiiiiiimmmmeeeeeee

  1. MINIMALIST VIDEO GAMES POSTERS MIGHT BE THE BEST VIDEO GAME POSTERS 
  2. FRIDAY THE 13TH! FLIX: TERMINAL INVASION
  3. A SINISTER TREND: HORROR MOVIES & THEIR BUDGETS
  4. FRIDAY NIGHT FLIX: ENTITY
  5. WEIRDEST SIMPSONS COUCH GAG EVER: ALL ANIMALS CAN SCREAM
  6. BORDERLANDS 2 GEAR: IS IT A PROBLEM IF I BUY ALL OF THESE?
  7. THE RISE AND REIGN OF NAPOLEON BONAPARTE….IN FIFA
  8. GOTcha…GAME OF THRONES INFORGRAPHICS BY NIGEL EVAN DENNIS
  9. NEXT STOP, KING’S LANDING: GAME OF THRONES SUBWAY MAPS
  10. ‘AFTER DAYZ’ SHORT FILM IS THE BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR

Sooooo….guess I should be concentrating on Game of Thrones and horror movies then?

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CinemaSins Shows You Why the Blockbuster Movies You Love Suck

The CinemaSins YouTube channel came to my attention three weeks ago when they posted a hilarious take down of The Amazing Spiderman. The general idea is a witty, rapid-fire narration pointing out all the inconsistencies, lazy plot devices and general crappiness of a given movie. At the end each flick is invariably sentenced to eternal filmic damnation for its crimes. Fun, right?

The video above is their most recent effort, titled “Everything Wrong With Prometheus In 4 Minutes Or Less”. I’m surprised it only takes four minutes because that movie was an atrocious piece of shit, at once offensive to Alien enthusiasts and incomprehensible to neophytes. Truth be told, the Prometheus vid is the weakest offering the group has put out so far (Seriously, no one realized the two finger salute is the UK equivalent of the middle finger?) but it has its moments. If you enjoy this one, I definitely recommend checking out the videos for Spider Man, The Dark Knight Rises and (my personal fave) The Avengers. Who knew 2012’s best genre movies were so full of holes?

(Answer: everyone who watched them.)

Sony to Broke Gamers: F*ck You

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYesterday Sony Computer Entertainment of America filed a patent application describing a method for embedding RFID tags in game discs. The intent is to allow the next gen Playstation, codenamed Orbis, to prevent any given disc from functioning in more than one console. Like, ever.

If this super awesome customer loyalty program gets the green light, no more buying used games at Gamestop (whose shares took a nose dive today, thanks to this little nugget of information) or selling them back for a pittance of store credit. No more loaning games to friends or trading on internet swap-meets like swap.com. No sir, Sony wants alls the monies. You budget-minded consumers who can’t afford to buy every worthwhile title at full price can go play fucking Farmville. So what if a game is three years old and already has two sequels by the time you get around to trying it? Tough shit, kid. Sony hates you.

[via NeoGAF and Kotaku]

Paul Giamatti Says: Get Your Hopes Up for Bubba Nosferatu, Charlie Brown

bubba ho tep campbellI love Bubba Ho-tep far more than your average citizen. No one wants a sequel more than me. But people, it is NEVER going to happen. Stop setting yourselves up for heartbreak. Even if financing could somehow be secured, the long-rumored Bubba Nosferatu doesn’t go forward without Bruce Campbell as Elvis Presley. It’s set to take place during the twilight years of the King’s career, exploring middle age the way Bubba Ho-tep tackled senescence, so Campbell would have to play a character no older than 43. Campbell is now 54, which is a stretch but doable. In five years? Not so much. If someone had wised up right after Ho-tep demolished the festival circuit back in 2002, Campbell would have been the perfect age. Ten years later, the proverbial doomsday clock is at five minutes to midnight.

Well, just to torture me, Giamatti recently revealed two juicy tidbits: he’s ready to play Elvis’s manager, Colonel Parker, and the script is really good. Go ahead and read the full post at Bloody Disgusting if you like. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they won’t yank the football away this time.

Sons of Anarchy Creator Curses Out AMC for Abusing The Walking Dead

Sutter vs. AMCThe Walking Dead isn’t just the best genre TV on the market, it’s one of the top-rated shows period. Another series that ranks right up there both in terms of quality and popularity is Sons of Anarchy, a personal favorite of mine despite the crap ending to last season. SoA‘s creator, Kurt Sutter, recently took to WhoSay via Twitter to decry AMC’s treatment of his friend and colleague, Glen Mazzara, who took over as showrunner when AMC shitcanned founding Walking Dead producer Frank Darabont. Continue reading

“Spacewar! Video Games Blast Off” Exhibit Lets You Get Some Culture and Blast It

spacewar-detail-mainDo you live within driving/flying/teleporting distance of NYC? Do you like video games? Then you need to get on over to the Museum of the Moving Image in Astoria. Through March 2013, MMI is hosting a very impressive exhibit showcasing the 100% playable history of the sci-fi shooter genre.

Visitors get tokens with their admission fee and have the option to purchase more so they can rock out at original Asteroids, Space Invaders, Defender and Star Wars arcade cabinets. Whippersnappers lacking respect for their elders are welcome to plunk down their coin for a few rounds of Portal and Halo 4, but the nostalgic will find more to enjoy in console classics like Battlezone, Metroid II and Star Fox.

The centerpiece of the show is a faithful, fully functional model of the Digital Equipment Corporation PDP-1 computer, on which in 1962 enterprising MIT “hackers” created  the granddaddy of all sci-fi shooters: Spacewar! I absolutely plan to spend my visit parked in front of that circular screen, mastering the use of the sun’s gravitational pull to gain the advantage over enemy ships. Art is awesome.

[via NYT]

Happy Friday: White House Petition Guarantees Death Star Will Be Built

Death-Star1Now that this petition on whitehouse.gov has gathered the requisite 25,000 signatures, there is simply no other possible outcome. Once Congress realizes the impact the moon-size space superiority platform will have on our economy, senators will be climbing over each other to be the first to vote yay. Construction jobs alone will pull us out of the recession. If only the world could produce a sufficient amount of steel in less than 800,000 years.

I did notice one flaw though: the petition fails to ensure said Death Star is built without a giant exhaust tube leading straight to the reactor system.

 

[Via NBC, Kotaku and pretty much everywhere else.]