With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Ninety-One: Holy Sh*t, I Just Got to the Chapter Number that Covered the World in Grunge.

Eggs’re are cookin’ on the stove. Coffee’s brewin’ in the pot. Outside is gray and windy, kin, so here’s the advice ol’ Jay’s got. Stay indoors and allow YouTube to trap ya in a figure-four leglock with video-fried distractification. Reality’s a popsicle, slowly melting, so catch this madness before your grain goes the way of John and June in ’03. Don’t worry, friends…they’ll still be seein’ ya a little further on up the road, guitars in hands and redemption in their grips…

1. Bojack Horseman – new Netflix series, animated misadventures of an actor from a 90s sitcom who is living the Hollyweird dream of staggering on the outskirts of hipster reference as a halfway-to-nirvana writer ghost-writes his memoirs. Will Arnett voices the title character. Finally! Will Arnett in his ideal environment…heard and not seen. The humor of the show coincides pleasantly with a perpetually bleak outlook on the prospect of social evolution, a capful of ZzzQuil, and the permanent black marker of your choice. Lately, this sandwich has been the lunch of champions. Season 1 is a 12-episode-layered submarine of horseradish, pepperoni, and dysphoria (the good kind of dysphoria, the tragi-comic breeze that shifts the hairs of balding crankcases). I hit them all in one overnight joust, then I watched Thursday’s “Project Runway”. Apply, Rinse, Repeat…

2. The Great American Traffic Jam – TV land’s (the entity, not the network) late 70s all-star comedic response to the disaster movie craze. The movie is also referred to as “GRIDLOCK!” A weekday morning on the L.A. freeways turns into Parking Lot-palooza when a cockpile of auto mishaps clogs all the thoroughfares, and NO ONE’S GOING ANYWHERE! A guilty pleasure I’ve been chasing for many years since I saw a YouTube video for the Warren Zevon song “Gridlock” that featured clips from the movie, you will certainly require pen and notepad to properly document the sundry celebrity appearances and cameos. My favorite “droppin’ by” appearance comes from Al Molinaro, proprietor of the teen-age hangout in “Happy Days”, who plays a garishly-garmented spectator who purchases something like 10,000 hamburgers, french fries, and sodas for the trapped motorists. Ed McMahon rides a motorcycle, Abe Vigoda teaches the 2nd housekeeper from “Diff’rent Strokes” how to drive, Vic Tayback delivers a baby in the back of his cab, Cousin Oliver from “The Brady Bunch” strums a guitar, and the military very seriously delivers portable johns by helicopter to the tune of “Ride of the Valkyries”. I don’t care if you’re kosher – EAT THIS HAM.

3. A Full Hour of Bloopers from “Mr. Warmth” Don Rickles from a TV Show You Don’t Remember — The sitcom is entitled “Daddy Dearest” and yes, dear Borefare-ians, I do remember this sitcom, being one of the 13 people on this planet who was religiously committed to the program before its quick demise. “Daddy Dearest” debuted on September 5, 1993 on FOX Sunday nights at 9:30 PM, the coveted slot after the 9 PM powerhouse that was “Married…With Children” that was surprisingly hard to fill with a successful follow-up (RIP “Open House”, “Good Grief, “Herman’s Head”, “The George Carlin Show”, “Wild Oats”). As you can see from the clips, the Don Rickles-Richard Lewis combination clicked as resonantly as a “Spies Like Us” alum hosting a talk show. Rickles’ prickly demeanor and extemporaneous diatribes couldn’t be lassoed into the streamlined ice cube tray of situation comedy, and the program was brushed under the carpet after 10 episodes. The song remains the same: the bloopers are better than the show. Hey, if you’ve ever wanted to see Don Rickles battle a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or Richard Lewis being repeatedly struck in the noggin by a soft pretzel (although in one take, the pretzel missed the comedian and struck a certain famous movie cop in the chest), I have the montage that will fit your idiosyncratic requirements:

4. The Pre-Pieces of Shining Cuckoo Nest’s Days of Mr. Nicholson — Jack Nicholson had a rich body of cackling, crackling work before he took the last detail, axed a Scatman, and tried to teach an Indian how to throw a basketball. Watching “Psych-Out” and “The Trip” is really worth the…worth the…experience. Motherf*cker, almost wandered into a dogpile of bad pun there…scrutinize “The Cry Baby Killer”, “The Wild Ride”, and “Hell’s Angels on Wheels”, too.



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