If you’re as hyped about the teenage mutant NINJA TURTLES movie as I am…wait, let me start that sentence over. If you are quasi-aware that there is a new Michael Bay-helmed teenage mutant NINJA TURTLES movie(why are they downplaying the fact that they are teenage mutants? I sense a conspiracy) maybe you’ll be interested in the turtle’s long, strange journey from doodle to stars of screens both big & small, the stage, and pasta shape.
Despite that fun trip through the past, don’t forget the dark horror that lays in our societal collective unconscious: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles NES game. More specifically, the terrible evils of the underwater level. I’m pretty sure that exact level is what taught me how to swear. But Raphael knows what I’m talking about, right Raph?