Simpson’s “The Hobbit” Couch Gag

What in the Blue Blazer is going on here? TWO decent Simpsons couch gags in ONE month? Unpossible, you say and trust me, I hear you. Yet here we are:

Good, bad or indifferent, The Simpsons has been on television longer than you’ve been alive! It is in no way culturally as relevant as it was in *adjusts monocle, tilts top hat* my day yet it just keeps on keeping on, generating umpteen billions of dollars for all involved. I bet that it goes to 30 seasons. It’s such an institution at this point that the entire process of getting it made & on the air must be completely rote now. This bears some investigation, just not by me at this juncture because I’m late for Halloween drinks. Later suckers!

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South Park: Stick of Truth Delayed ‘Til March; Here’s a Seven Minute Trailer to Tide You Over

First announced back in, what, December 2011? All set to see the light of day this December (and delaying my inevitable purchase of a PS4 by months), the word today is that the South Park: The Stick of Truth will be delayed until March ’14. Which is a bummer, but I’d prefer a delay and a non garbage experience. The trailer below is what I saw at New York Comic Con the other week and if you are even the slightest bit of a South Park fan, watch it and tell me you don’t want this game. MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE ARE THERE.

“Within three weeks after acquiring the game, we sadly realized we had to turn this thing upside down if we hoped to deliver the experience everybody wanted,” Ubisoft North America’s president Laurent Detoc said in the announcement blog. “It’s been such a major overhaul to get to the point where we are that we couldn’t let it go, even if that meant missing December.”

Fun Fact: South Park debuted on Comedy Central in August 1997.

Friday Night Flix: Resolution

resolution2Welcome to a special Halloween edition of Friday Thursday Night Flix, where there’s never a need to leave the couch or put on pants. Each week I’ll recommend an under-the-radar movie currently available on one or more of the major streaming platforms. They won’t all be classics, but every selection is guaranteed to be 100% watchable or your money back.

Happy Halloween, fuckers!

The American Scream had the absolute best line about what makes Halloween special: all the big holidays – Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Easter – are family holidays. They’re meant to be celebrated exclusively with your nearest and dearest. Halloween is completely different. Halloween is a community holiday. It’s pretty much the only time we all make a conscious decision to invade each other’s spaces and interact with complete strangers. When you think of how disconnected technologies like TV and smart phones have made us, we could really use more excuses to interact on a wide scale.


Today’s movie, Resolution (Netflix), is perfect Friday Night Flix material. It’s almost completely unknown to anyone outside the die hard horror crowd, it’s high quality, and it’s available to stream for free. (If you don’t have Netflix it’s a little less perfect. Your only option is to pay an outrageous $6.99 on Amazon but, hey, Halloween only comes once a year.)

resolution4The movie itself is great not necessarily for its Sinister-esque horror plot, which is unnecessarily twisty, rarely scary, and often feels like an afterthought. What makes it special are the scenes between the two main characters, a pair of old friends whose lives have gone in different directions. Generally in a horror movie these kinds of interactions are filler, vainly trying to get us to care about someone who’s about to die. They’re tedious and perfunctory at best or, more often, painfully artificial. In Resolution, while you don’t get a full sense of their shared history, both men are fully subject to the reality of their situation. There’s no sense that these bits exist solely to set up scares later. Their arguments are articulate, logical, and reasonable. They’re pragmatic, even insightful at times. For example when one of the guys is encouraged to blame his messed up childhood for his drug addiction, he responds that even if he’d had loving parents he’d just be a junkie with awesome parents. Pepper in some supernatural happenings and you’ve got a movie that engages its audience from start to finish.

resolution3Added bonus: Planning a marathon tonight? Why not toss in a few undercard titles to set the mood? As long as you’ve had a few Halloween cocktails (or you’re just willing to settle for less than perfect product) I can at least 57%-heartedly  recommend Apartment 143 (Netflix, Amazon Prime) and The Possession of David O’Reilly (Netflix).

But hey, let’s be real here. If you want something truly special and you haven’t seen it yet, head on over to 31 Flavors of Terror and check out 2013’s best scary movie by far, The Conjuring. It’s available for as little as $3.99 on Amazon and it is well worth the price.

See you next week…if you survive.resolution5