With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Sixty-Seven: Weekend III: The Last Son of Super Video

Little known (now widely known) fact about good ol’ Kentucky Jay: from 1993 to 1998, I was rewinding and re-shelving VHS armada in four different video stores: Gemini Video, Super Video, Easy Video, and West Coast Video.

Krypton, how I miss thee. Another little known (and slightly scarier) fact: After my employment with these various institutions ended, like Krypton, they all exploded into small business obscurity. We had a Blockbuster & a Hollywood Video in the neighborhood that, too, expired within the past two years, although I never wore a name tag or a colored vest for either business. “You need to change your policies, or you’ll die in a month”, I recommended to the clerk at the Blockbuster in 2009. She scowled. Three weeks later, the site was empty, and I regret that professional responsibilities precluded my appearance at the store’s “ALL MOVIES FOR $1” sale. I am — and remain — the Grim Reaper of Video Stores.

I recently “celebrated” the 20th anniversary of the date I began my employment with Easy Video (RIP 1985-1996 — Too bad the business went under before the shelves could be littered with 100 VHS copies of “Independence Day”). I threw myself into self-imposed exile for Round 3 of another Weekend, although I will admit the Dark Streaming was interrupted by a bat mitzvah in New England and a round of chores in Grandpa’s house punctuated by his vilification of the NY Giants’ recent shellacking by the Carolina Panthers:

Defendor…Noise…Easter Bunny, Kill, Kill!…A Horrible Way to Die…Hunger…Dead Ball…The Bay…Street Trash…Sector 7…Bitter Feast…No One Lives…Die…Chaw…Choose…Black Rock…Ping Pong Playa…Detachment…Rites of Spring…Black Rat…I Declare War…Mold…A Town Called Panic…Hell Baby…Bad Milo…Little Big Top…Scourge…Altered States.

Hits: A Horrible Way to Die, Dead Ball, Street Trash, Chaw, I Declare War, Mold, A Town Called Panic
Misses:Bitter Feast, No One Lives, Choose, Bad Milo, Scourge, Altered States(I’ve eaten spoiled roast beef that was more interesting than this movie)

Round 4 of the Weekend arrived earlier than expected, as I was COMPLETELY unmotivated to sleep for three days, moviewatching interrupted only by IRA Death Benefit Distribution and Standardized Test Crotch-Kicking:

Assassination of a High School President…Beyond the Black Rainbow…White Knuckles…Cottage Country…Hyenas…Tokyo Gore Police…Accident…Rubberneck…Ghost Shark…Devil’s Pass…Under the Bed…Among Friends…Fade to Black…A Serbian Film…Red State…May I Kill U?…Kill ‘Em All…The Ledge…Death Race 2…Death Race 3…You’re Next…The World’s End…Blackfish…Antichrist…The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight…Mutant Girls Squad…Kill List…Dead in Tombstone

Hits: Tokyo Gore Police, Accident, Among Friends, A Serbian Film (WOW MY APPETITE FOR LIFE RENEWED!), Red State, You’re Next, The World’s End, Mutant Girls Squad
Misses: Beyond the Black Rainbow (dull), Cottage Country (humorless), Hyenas (but I shoulda known better), Antichrist (I should have loved this movie, but I am still lukewarm)

Meanwhile, I deserve my fate because Grandpa says my distaste for the NFL is ‘unpatriotic’. MEH…

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4 thoughts on “With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Sixty-Seven: Weekend III: The Last Son of Super Video

    • have ya SEEN it? did ya pluck out your eyes and burn ’em in kerosene?? great sustainability in that flick. ah, the perversions of Europe….bring another round, waitress! a spot of decency was missed upon my brow…

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  1. Pingback: Friday Night Flix: You’re Next | Modern Borefare

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