Friday Night Flix: American Mary

americanmary1Welcome to Friday Night Flix, where there’s never a need to leave the couch or put on pants. Each week I’ll recommend an under-the-radar movie currently available on one or more of the major streaming platforms. They won’t all be classics, but every selection is guaranteed to be 100% watchable or your money back.

Holy shitpants, October is fucking nigh! I am very excited. I love this time of year with a passion that dare not speak its name. I won’t be doing my usual movie marathon due to work commitments but that doesn’t mean I’m not feeling the spirit. With that I bring you a hot little number from 2012, already well known to fans of the indie horror scene: American Mary (Netflix, $3.99 Amazon).

americanmary2Is American Mary the perfect horror movie? Hell no, it is not. It’s bogged down by classic first timer/lack-of-funds-to-finish-the-damn movie mistakes. Plot threads go nowhere. (Why did we hear about the mysterious Dr. Black at the very beginning, meet him for one short, crazy moment at the end of the first act, and then never hear from him again? This man needs his share of comeuppance. Or at the very least an opportunity to explain why he insists he is a “fuckin’ mother fucker”. That’s pretty basic.) Horrendous, unnecessary accents are distributed to a seemingly random mix of characters, including Mary’s nana and a pair of kinky identical twins. (The twins are played by the Soska sisters, who wrote and directed the movie, I guess are vying for the crown of horror movie Coen brothers. We get it, you’re weird. The German accents are overkill.)

americanmary4Forget all that nonsense though. Despite their rudimentary filmmaking skills these Soskas are on to something. Disturbing imagery and oodles of sex appeal are generally a pretty successful combo.  This movie will flat out make you cringe, more at the real body mods it displays than the special effects. Perhaps I liked it most of all for its creative solution to getting out of student loan debt. Then again maybe it was the surgical garb Mary dons whilst plying her trade. Yowch.

americanmary6Added bonus: Yeah yeah Katharine Isabelle, who plays Mary, is super hot. Blah blah blah. BUT. Here’s what’s really cool about her: aside from being generally good at her trade, she’s been a working actress since 1989. All the more impressive since she was only born in 1981. This lady played a kid-in-distress in an episode of MacGyver, people. Respect.

One thought on “Friday Night Flix: American Mary

  1. Pingback: The Conjuring (2013) | 31 Flavors of Terror


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s