With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Thirty-Seven: Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

You’ll forgive me for the Paula Cole reference, no? You’ll forgive me for the Paula Cole reference, yes. If anger lingers and the vibe for violence is about to go Bixby-to-Ferrigno, hurl thyself with cheerful, futilitarian glee into the teen party/”safety first, but second after Anacin Pinatas” flick, Project X. Your distorted memories of your obstreporous middle-class adolescence will enjoy this visit with the chiropractor who will sadistically stretch, strain, elongate, and re-align your faults into geometric cleanliness. Scholastic endeavors be damned – enjoy the party – when the movie’s done, return it quickly to the Redbox, come home, explode a can of pop, and weep in the darkness for your shattered, irretrievable “glory/gory” days…Yay, Hollywood!

Geez, man…clean yourself up. Muppet Sanitation Patrol:

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