Confession time: While I had a NES growing up, I had ZERO superfluous accessories: no Zapper (tm), no excercise pad, no NES Advantage, no R.O.B. the Robot and sure as shit no Power Glove. So anytime I would end up at someone’s house that did have these wonderful devices, you couldn’t pry me off of them with a, uh, sort of prying device (?).
Where was I going with this? Oh, right, screen proximity & cheating (ed. note: …clearly). I never understood why people stood across the room with the Zapper when playing Duck Hunt; what, were they giving those goddamn ducks a sporting chance? “No!”, I would scream. “Fuck those ducks!” and then I would put the gun up about 2″ from the screen and just blow those feathered bastards back to their soggy hell, ready to be retrieved by my bemused personal Cerebus. Yet this was considered a)cheating and b)poor form. Poor form or no, I’ve got more dead digital ducks under my belt than you could possibly fathom; what’ve you got?