Panel Picks – Back in the Four Color Saddle Again

As I’ve been busy stuffing myself with every form of candied & alcoholic body poison I could get my hands on for the past (2) month(s), all of my panel picks have been sitting around, gathering digital dust. NO MORE. I could dole them out to you but PSHAW. Besides, that’s why page jumps are for. So to quote everyone’s favorite modern day philosopher-cum-culinary wizard, “Come along and ride on a gangster’s paradise”. Wait, no, that’s not right.

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Let’s start off on a negative note! MAN do I hate this panel. That may be the worst looking Hulk I’ve ever seen in a comic. I know he’s supposed to be a goofy green monster who wears purple pants, but he’s also The Strongest One There Is. Don’t make him look like The Most Retarded One There Is. Also, the Avengers has a pretty deep roster of some serious powerhouses; if you’re going to an alien planet, don’t you want them, not the Black Widow & Hawkeye? Oh, the Black Widow is going to seduce the alien squid king? NYET.

photo 1On the flip side, this I REALLY like.  Pretty majestic posing on Cap’s part and a fairly deep roster of Avenger ass-kickers behind him, though I was hard pressed to name them all. Also, is that a tear on Cap’s face or has his Breathe Right strip come loose?Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.34.57 PM

The Joker’s face gives me a bad case of the willies. What must the inside of his peeled-off face smell like that this point? Extra creepiness points for the sweat (drool?) hanging off of his chin. And the fact that there are FLIES CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE OF HIS FACE.

photo 5

Ok, now it probably smells worse. This reminds me of that scene in the second Preacher arc where Cassidy’s friend-turned-serial-killer cuts a guys face off, then nails it back onto his skull. Upside down. Garth Ennis is a daaaaaaaaaark dude. The visual of the Joker’s eye’s peering out of his own stretched-out mouth is…a disturbing one that I will be including on Christmas cards this year.

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Haw haw he sure does murder a ton of people!! Oh, that Logan!  Why yes, he DOES watch over a large number of children, why do you ask?

I really had no idea where Bendis was going with this arc in All new X-Men; apparently I can’t see the forest for the trees as it was(ed.note: umm…duh) a way to re-Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.32.53 PMintroduce Jean Grey to the Marvel U. Must suck to be 16 though, and be told by a huge dude who’s covered in blue fur that you’re going to die. Multiple times. But is it any worse than wearing that yellow-and-green costume? Where do the X-Men even get their costumes from? Does/did Charles Xavier have a seamstress & a tailor on staff? “More pouches, dammit!” every X-team member, 1990 – 1999.

WAY more after the jump, including some super blasphemy, missing limbs & brain odors to start off 2013 right!

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.36.49 PM Anyone who has an older brother has said that exact same phrase dozens of times. Plus, how good is Rob Guillory’s art?

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.36.25 PM Brutal. Nice nod to Chew‘s whole eating motif with Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son there in the background. WHAT, I KNOW ABOUT ART.

photo 4

Are you reading Thor, God of Thunder? Oh what, you don’t like comics with incredible art and murder-mysteries involving gods? Well excuse me then, Mr. Fancy-Pants. Also, if Mjolnir can crack planets, what’s Thor doing hitting street criminals with it? Wouldn’t he just atomize them? Also, I kind of dig Thor’s choice of pre-Mjolnir armaments.  What says viking god more than a humongous battle axe?

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.34.00 PM  Marvel’s been pretty obsessed with brains lately. First it was the Red Skull popping Xaviers brain out, and now Forge & Dr. Nemesis go all intro-to-Robocop II on Cable. Whose brain, judging by Nemesis’ reaction, apparently smells terrible.Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.33.33 PM OH MY BLURGH WHAT’S HAPPENED TO THE SPOT?

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.40.10 PM This is why I love Hawkeye and why you should be reading it. As far as I’m concerned, these five panels are perfect.

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.39.01 PM Wikka wikka wikka…DJ DOOM ON THE WHEELZ OF STEEL.ALL WILL FIST-PUMP TO DOOM.

Screen Shot 2013-01-07 at 9.33.12 PM  Subtle.  But what do you expect when you’re reading a DC Vertigo book called Punk Rock Jesus?


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