With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Fifteen: Wouldn’t You Like to Win a Date with Killshot Carl Winslow?

Meanwhile, while John McClane was unloading Honey Nut Cheerios of Death at 120 MPH into some terrorist flesh back at Nakatomi…

…the price of unleaded gasoline in So-Cal in 1988 was 74 cents per gallon! Fast Forward to This Date in 2012: The price has become so outrageous, one can actually hear Skeletor laughing as we hang our heads at the pump. Bruce Willis battles little Cobra Commander and prepares for an awkward fifth dance with the “Die Hard” franchise. Al Powell, quietly extract your firearm from its holster, aim at the Quagmire of Status Quo, cock the hammer, and throw the big stinkin’ Twinkie.

Now we can progress to more interesting fare –

Yabba-Dabba-Do, Scrambled Eggs, and Hummus: The Top Three Pop Culture Team-Ups of the Twentieth Century –

#3: Mickey, Davy, Peter, Wool Hat, and Jack – The Monkees Meet Jack Nicholson:

Jack is googly-eyed for Davy, thinking, “That’s the first one I’m gonna take.” Jack and Bob Rafelson wrote and produced 1968’s “Head”, a surreal, disjointed mash of Concert Movie and Freakout Zone starring the Monkees, whose TV show had just been liquidated from the NBC 68-69 fall line-up. Friction in the ranks? The facade had failed? Listlessness? The reasons for the demise are a gaggle of runaway brides. My personal belief is the cancellation of ABC’s “Batman”, which maintained a Yankees/Red Sox relationship with the Fab(ricated) Four from 1966-1968, made the demise of “The Monkees” an easily-swallowed pill. Mickey, Davy, etc. had big plans that grew beyond the chaperoned middle-school dance of television, and Mr. Nicholson, eager to expand his repertoire, hurled himself into Slamdance City. Alas and alack, the movie could only be appreciated by those who sniffed magic markers or licked postage stamps (WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA NUDGE NUDGE) at 30-second intervals throughout its run, and future cinematic enterprises, if conjured by a Monkee or two or three or four, were crushed like Count Viggo in the Lincoln Tunnel (<—there's that "Daylight" reference you ordered!). Mickey did voice-over work, Peter removed his shoes and was eaten by Greenwich Village, Davy hung with Marcia Brady and Scooby-Doo, and Mike grew a beard. The future of young writer Jack Nicholson?? Moderate success. MODERATE. Draw your swords and spew invectives if ye please, but Killshot Carl Winslow's on speed-dial…

#2 Mr. Rogers Meets The Incredible Hulk:

Captain Kangaroo was going to burn at the touch of the Man-Thing, but…well…you can’t compete with this team-up, Cap. Mr. Rogers and Speedy McFeely bounced into Tinseltown to chat with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno about the differences between The Collective Awesomeness of Their Existences and The Near-Suicidal Turdfest of Your Life…i mean, the differences between real and make-believe. From the Elseworlds files: in 1987, an episode of “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” featured Pee-Wee, Randy and Clocky meeting the A-Team as they battled gum disease and a gang of arcade thugs. By the by, writing this post while listening to Pandora bashing my ear caverns with Amon Amarth, Anaal Nathrakh, Bolt Thrower, and Valient Thorr (coupled with the empanada/mac-n-cheese sandwich eaten while composing the previous paragraph) is inexplicably obfuscating my rationale with images of an angry, pacing Felix the Cat, which I must say outscores the Korean hip-hop tantrums regardless of perspective.

#1 Scooby-Doo Meets Batman:

Batman and Robin had been given the Filmation treatment in the late 60s with resounding success, and Scooby’s 1st season with the Creeper, the Ghost Clown, the Ghost of Captain Redbeard, etc. put Hanna-Barbera into the World Series of Animated Television in 1970. This meeting was monumental because it laid the groundwork for the decade-long top-turnbuckle victory stance of the various Superfriends/Super Friends/Super Powers cartoons. Superheroes were once again welcome on Saturday Morning TV after their controversial banishment in 1969 (The King Mucketymuck deemed Space Ghost, Birdman, Herculoids, and their compatriots in the Hanna-Barbera Superhero Fraternity as exceedingly violent and absent of socially redeeming merit). Without this team-up, the industry may not have been jolted into Amping Their Game due to the impact of “The All-New Superfriends Hour” and “Challenge of the Superfriends”, two shows that forced the tinkerers of your children’s weekend imaginations to re-consider the potential viewership of their diagrammed cutesy-wutesy dog’n’puppy selections. Domino Effect, Positive: “Superfriends” to “Thundarr the Barbarian” to “GI Joe” to “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” to “Thundercats” to “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” to…okay, well, it all crapped out again in the 90s. “Scooby-Doo Meets Batman and Robin” set a standard that has often been mimicked but never tenably duplicated.

Pop Culture: Father of the Year.

31 Flavors of Terror

One day, I will open a movie theater of my own. It will be independently operated, unaffiliated with  any of the big chains. Gourmet popping corn will be available in flavors other than salt ‘n carcinogens. 3D will forbidden. Seats will be leather and spaced out so as to make it virtually impossible to kick the chair in front of you. And once a year, at the opening of a high profile popcorn movie, I will plant a couple of interns (upon the toil of thousands of which I shall forge my empire) and have them jabber through the previews and into the first minute of the movie. My impotent ushers will make a big show of shushing them and telling them this is their final warning. The plants will not heed this warning. They will throw things at the usher and break out their cell phones to make calls and take flash pictures…

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I Only Bought This Book For Aaron Kuder’s Cover

I don’t like this book. AT ALL. I may hate it. But this cover completely grabbed my attention and I bought it solely for that. If this was a poster I’d buy that too & hang it in my cube at work. It’s by Aaron Kuder and his art is the $#!t. Plus I met him at Comic Com & he was super nice (and was drawing a Doop & Dead Girl sketch, so bonus points for that).


After the jump, check out some of his other awesome covers: Continue reading

New York Comic Con 2012 Day Two – Cosplayers Come Out At Night (During the Day Too)

New York Comic Con ’12 day two has come and gone and all I have to show for it is A TON OF SUPER SWEET POSTERS & T-SHIRTS OHMYGOD.

The day started with a beeline to the Capcom booth, where they had a limited number of Infinity Gauntlet-inspired posters to commemorate the release of Marvel vs. Capcom Origins.  Trick was: to snag the poster you had to play the demo. I was in line several times on Thursday to do just that but kept running off to pick something else up.  But the time I actually got to play the demo ( the line was suspiciously non-existent at 6pm on Thursday) they had run out of posters. DON’T WORRY; I got there early enough to score the poster as well as a cool Okami HD and a Darkstalkers Resurrection poster signed by the artist.

From there it was a straight shot back to the Mondo booth. Thursday evening when I stopped by, they had one of about 15 posters revealed (it was for Phantasm). I asked the guy manning the booth when the rest would be revealed and he said ” probably 3 a day for the rest of the con”.  Kind of disappointing, but whatever, it’s his deal.  But when I randomly checked their Twitter feed this morning they had apparently reversed course and dropped everything  at 10am on Friday! Maybe they had to beat a hasty retreat? Anyway, for sale they had a regular edition & a limited con edition of the following posters: Iron Giant, Shaun of the Dead, Foghorn Leghorn, an Ent, Beatrix Kiddo. They also had the Phantasm poster, a pretty sweet Friday the 13th joint, a cool shot of Mordor and a something from an Italian horror movie called City of the Living Dead.

After waiting in line for about 45 minutes (they, along with everyone else in the convention center, was having issues with the super expensive & super spotty wifi) I was able to order and scoop up the last Shaun of the Dead New York Comic Con ’12 variant. WoO-HoO! I also grabbed the City of the Living Dead poster ’cause I panicked.

From there? Meandering and snapping shots of some the really amazing cosplayers that were roaming about. Took in the AMC Comic Book Men panel (scored a ticket at work) where even though it was supposed to be about the guys on the show, Kevin Smith turned it into the Kevin Smith show.  But you kind of had to know that going in.  Plus, no matter how comfortable your shoes are, you’re going to want to sit down after 5 hours of walking the floor.

Had to head back to Rawrs and pick up another shirt (photos coming in the posters post) as well the Kellogg’s booth for free “cereal” (it’s Cap’n Crunch filled with chocolate! That’s not breakfast!!). I also ate a giant box of Nerds & a fistful of Hi-Chews that I managed to score from their respective booth.

Out in Artists Alley, I had the chance to talk with Lee Weeks. I was friends with a nephew of Lee’s early on in middle school and at one point Lee came in to town for a convention or a signing or something at a local shop in my area.  He took both his nephew and myself along with him to the shop where I was able to pick up the firs three issues of The Infinity Gauntlet at a substantial discount.  Great experience, both then and today; it was really tremendous to speak with him again.

At that point, we’d been at NYCC for about 6 hours & we’d just about seen it all (I had definitely seen it all if you factored int he 5 hours from the previous day) so we headed out to find beer and food (Pony Bar on 44th & 10th is the place to go!).

I’m going back tomorrow with more of a targeted mission: a) pick up t-shirts for my nephews b) hit the Comixology booth to chat c) head back over to Lee Weeks’ booth. Thursday was crowded & today was packed; I can only imagine what tomorrow will like.  Oof. Enjoy the cosplayer photos below!

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