With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Thirteen: I Purchase my Not-Quite-Meats in Aisle 13 of the Twilight Zone Supermarket…

SPAM. It lives in our atmosphere like a squatter with Jabba the Hut jowls…It expels its slime in slithering eructations that smother us with its gelatinous genocide whenever we attempt to communicate via electronic connective media. Yes, we can filter like a Death Star Force Shield, but that structure, too, had its cracks, which caused its KABOOM. Recently, a Gigantor-sized hunk of spam infiltrated my workplace interoffice e-mail – below, the lyrics of this spam, ad verbum aside from minor modification to fit the pseudo-poetic format that I endeavor to craft – Enjoy, or Be Eaten:


the clouds parted
there is certainly still loads of partying
a vibrant, unpretentious nightlife (adventures galore)
don’t worry, you can be taught

constraints on the age of sulphide ore deposition
age of late Uranus
Mushroom Platform Copuality
heighten and strengthen so-called British Honduras


english widely uses tension and bounceback
on a fish playing on a baited rig

plan your internet business the right way
dark chocolate cakes, cheesecakes, and cupcakes
appropriate as hopes and wishes
(house of un-doing can be interpreted as a place of seclusion)

the translation guarantees
where it becomes easy is when you don’t understand

military-aged men, 16-40,
speculation that anthrax mailed

you get ended or whispered

you say to your Bibles in a language
written a thousand years ago
gold can save us

people who are very familiar with avocados
know there is a six-month span when the
inside is quite watery, regardless of
the difference between governments on
the Question of Terrorism

boat donation, boat donations,
donated boats, donated marines,
sailboat donation, recycle recycle recycle,
for i am an expert on antennas

the white din becomes lighter

sacrifice the carpets to make this into a beast of a machine
steering and brakes constructed by
Egyptian Silk

communication is important (probably)
but never let them into the house

they wed
they hoard
lift boredom and use humor
to get the attention of the major blisters

within the eyes in the belly
form a small protrusion
the head shape – just one here and there –
keep stretching
carcass matricide mimosa
a blend of carnation and cinnamon and
finishing note that consist of forklike endings

there are many types of
parallel responses of monkeyshoulder

Figure 3b suggests that M1 contributes
to autistic little ones born of Persephone,
after Zeus, taking snake form,
impregnating Dionysus,
unleavened dough is used for buns,
lofts, condos, and homes in Atlanta


today’s savvy gardener

build U.S. financed cars in the Finland boondocks,
built with alarm systems and other
Wang Ming Yang
the science and technology covers
the Beach Boys on March 27 and 28, 2010

remain unidentified and the people gave all of us
the cost I hitch

the corks gain mainly the apex of the granite

this is the stag

(you will have to fill out necessary application papers)

apparently, an opponent calls or folds –
the purpose of the continents is to
spontaneously need sayings such as,
Big Such As This, Faroff Such As That
invent a measure of these (g)
when (n) generation of Afghan men are
fighting against regime

Olympiad 1960:
do not give away the extra diskettes

the Soviet government started to market the
rights to Tetris in 1988,
a smooth, rich flavor everyone will enjoy

damned increasing Indians become more health conscious
the base could have slimmer proportions and drainage pipes
embedded in the wall at intervals of the Gods,
Cloverfield, and They Live

uh oh – explosion
care bears on Fire.


I hope you stayed with that ode to its incendiary termination. Until next time…


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