He woke on Monday morning, ready to conquer the world, or, at a minimum, harness nature for his steady progress:

He knew his war with Intemperate Technology – amok, fire-breathing, megalomaniacal, and insidiously steadfast little gremlins – would be measured battle by battle, but he’d claim the ultimate victory when he rose from the debris:

He understands, with regret, that the enemy will utilize surreptitious and underhanded methods that may drive him to madness:

He also knows … that ain’t no thang…

He’ll struggle, but he won’t relent. He’s seen all manner of supervillainous behavior; he’s not going to resort to Neverending Drink:

Heck, isn’t this all a dream, anyway? Yes, this must all be a dream – one in which your action figures are ready to jump off the shelves and assume action when they hear the call for justice:

Therefore, the only advice I have for you is – Enjoy the Dolphin Ride…

…and accept no substitutes.