With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Eleven: Where the Matzoh Ball Rolls…

Matzoh ball soup is the broth of conquerors, barbarians, and pajama-clad miscreants. However, the soup sometimes, as does the Empire, strike back…my night-time visions, as written and illustrated by a bowl of aforementioned soup:

I was enrolled in two college classes: one course about “The Twilight Zone”, starring Jack Klugman – one course about “Star Wars”, taught by Lando Calrissian.

I was failing the class about the Twilight Zone, as Jack Klugman (veteran of the episodes “A Passage for Trumpet”, “Death Ship”, “A Game of Pool”, and “In Praise of Pip”) regarded my sociological perceptions of the episodes as, his words, “wack-a-doodle and egg-fried”. Didn’t quite prepare for this vitriolic feedback – he decided I was forbidden to participate in forums & discussion groups about the episodes, but I could live out my days reciting Twilight Zone haiku at the mall. I was crestfallen.

Switch to the Star Wars class – Lando stood at the dais and expressed his general satisfaction with our recent writing assignment, “The Last Bounty Hunter in the Dagobah System”. One entry was noteworthy of such high praise that he stated the assignment would be forwarded to the Jedi Knights with all sensible dispatch – he read an excerpt from this essay; I quickly recognized my words! He encouraged the class to heaven-rending applause, I approached the dais to his strong, complimentary handclasp…

..then the scene shifted to southern Kentucky, where I was participating in a local lawnmower race. I won the race and was awarded a plaque by the mayor, Don Knotts. I viewed my face in the reflection from the plaque and beheld:

Yep – Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern. I was also awarded the opportunity to coach the local little league team, the Bad News Bears(with the cast from the 1975 movie), against their rivals, the So-Cal Superegos, in the championship game. The coach of the Superegos?

End of Night-time Vision. I’ll tell you the Sad, Sorrowful Punchline: I don’t know if we won the game.

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