Trailer Park – The Walking Dead: No Man’s Land – New Game Shambles onto the Mobile Scene

Just a quick tease at this point though I’m curious to see if any game play gets revealed at Comic Con this week? As right now, while pretty, the trailer isn’t telling me all that much and neither is the game’s site. Since there is exactly zero information about this game, here’s what I’m hoping for: a cross between Dead Island & Resident Evil, which will basically ensure that I will give you all of my monies in incremental micro-payments. It’ll be interesting to see what Next Games does to differentiate its product from the stellar Walking Dead games which TellTale Games keeps dropping on us.

 

Friday Night Flix: A Field in England

A-Field-in-England (1)Welcome to Friday Night Flix, where there’s never a need to leave the couch or put on pants. Each week I’ll recommend an under-the-radar movie currently available on one or more of the major streaming platforms. They won’t all be classics, but every selection is guaranteed to be 100% watchable or your money back.

An epic tribute to what-the-fuckery, A Field in England (Amazon) is damn near impenetrable. It’s occaisionally amusing, infrequently horrifying, a little disturbing and hugely weird.

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My general opinion of this type of surreal artsy-fartsy movie is that they go to enormous lengths to tell a 10 minute story over the course of an hour and a half. Director Ben Wheatley can’t just explain (visually, with words, pictograms, whatever) that we’re in the English revolutionary war, that our heroes are various kinds of British soldiers, and that one of them is the hireling of an alchemist seeking the return of a thief and some stolen documents. Oh no. He holds such secrets close for 40 minutes so you have to dig for them, all the while wondering why the characters stop every so often to pose in tableaus, why they’re playing tug-of-war with a stake in the ground, and why the whole thing is shot in Seventh Seal black and white.

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When you boil away all that fancy foofaraw, A Field in England is kind of cool. The alchemy/divination angle is pretty neat and the cast is impressive, especially Wheatley veteran Michael Smiley (Kill List). Once you finally sort out the relationships it’s easy to get wrapped up in their weird little quest. It’s almost a shame Wheatley doesn’t play it straight; there’s more than enough built into that setup to support a standard movie.

I’m not wild about contrived film tricks like flicker cuts and mirroring. Wheatley uses enough of them in the climax to make Stanley Kubrick have a seizure. I don’t know that that’s a good thing necessarily, but it certainly achieved the goal of making me dizzy and almost nauseous. So, um, cool?

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Added bonus: Full frontal male nudity. You will see not one but TWO pendulous dongs. Both shots may feature the same uncircumcised prosthesis but the first instance is a closeup of a very diseased wang. Gnarly.

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Eighty-Seven: Pre-Holiday Birthday Shoutagrams are Delivered to…

Ol’ Jay’s headed to the Vineyard again for a week of oceanic expedition and caffeine injection (oceanic injection and caffeine expedition may, too, occur…), so pry open yer brain-containers and and scoop out a morsel of gratitude for these birthdays boys and girls:


Mil Mascaras, masked marvel and monster-masher of Mexican lore, the last of the “Big Three”, pictured above with the late Blue Demon and El Santo. Mascaras turns 72 today.


Jan-Michael Vincent (Stringfellow Hawke from “Airwolf”), pictured here with the late great Ernest (Dom Santini) Borgnine. Vincent turns 70 today…whoaaaa….a difference of only two years between him and Mascaras?!


Roky Erickson, founder of the 13th Floor Elevators, psychedelic rock trailblazer, Austin outsider, screamer of two-headed dogs, walking with zombies, and the Green Lion of my Voltronic Rock SUPERGROUP!!! 67 years strong, Roky!


Jesse “The Body” Ventura: pro wrestler, pro governor, provocateur…he’s the needle in the societal haystack that keeps sticking the gods in the rear to rattle complacency…63 years of instigating and infuriating…


Marky Ramone, the post-Tommy Ramone (RIP) drummer for the band…Hey! AOL! He’s not dead! He’s 58 years old! {AOL posted his image over the weekend when reporting on the death of Tommy — Angering On-Line: That’s AOL}



Willie Aames, who ran the pop culture tilt-a-whirl in the late 70s and 80s as Tommy Bradford (“Eight is Enough”), Hank (“Dungeons and Dragons”), and Buddy Lembeck (“Charles in Charge”) before donning the cowl and crucifix as Bibleman in 1990s…54 years old today.


Brigitte Nielsen, Red Sonja, villainess of “Rocky IV”, momentary corruptor of Stallone, would-be She-Hulk…51 years of stompin’ as of this date.


Adam Savage: buster of myths, illustrious skeptic, Deputy Marshal of Letsblowthingsupville…47 years and all digits intact.

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Eighty-Six: The Inimical Ink Spilled During the Revenge of the Ghost (Artists) of Bob Kane

Long title, yeah, but it’s worth the read because I’m putting the artist spotlight on 2 Golden/Silver Age artists who lived in the shadow of the Batcreator but never escaped the recognition of the Batmaniacs: Dick Sprang and Sheldon Moldoff.

Dick Sprang illustrated Batman and Detective Comics for roughly 20 years, from 1943 to 1963. He was hired by DC Comics because Bob Kane was thought to be sucked into WWII, and Batman needed a relatively similar production that would not disorient the already rabid fanbase. Although Kane averted the frontlines, Sprang was kept on the payroll, hush-hush to keep Kane’s credit base from corroding. Sprang’s character design contributed to the set-up of the “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” cartoon that re-enfranchised (‘zat a woid? yeah, i gotz da badge, i spin the chambiz) the Batfans infuriated by “The Batman”. Dick Sprang also co-created the Riddler, ol Jay’s favorite Batnemesis, and introduced Joker’s Utility Belt, a story molded into two episodes of the Cesar Romero-ized “Batman” in ’66.

Glaze on this, Batloonies:


What do you reckon is contained in Darkseid’s Utility Belt? Chaos, despair, the captured screams of orphaned children, and pretzel stix…

The other Ghost Artist of Kane was Sheldon “Shelly” Moldoff, whose simmering dissatisfaction with being the true workhorse of Bob Kane’s signature was re-directed to the creation of sundry Batsupporters, including Ace the Bat-Hound, Batwoman (who carried a purse!), and the original Batgirl, as well as a fistful of Batbaddies: Calendar Man, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, and the shape-shifting Clayface (the legendary one-panel incidental demise of “Crisis on Infinite Earths #12 back in ’86, an unceremonious deathscape shared with the Bug-Eyed Bandit).

Sheldon Moldoff drew the Caped Crusader and his Chronology until ’67, when he was released, perhaps due to the change in weather and attitude for the Bat-entity, radically re-configured by the TV show that, at the time of Moldoff’s departure, was starting to sprout some gray hairs. I still find it funny that I was always confusing the art of Dick Sprang and Sheldon Moldoff, somewhat similar senses to their approaches, but understanding they are both Eternal Ghosts of Kane, and also knowing their exploits are being celebrated, provides ample justification for this minor mindfart.


A red purse! Did you think I was kidding!?!? Continue reading

With a Jolt, My Mind Awakens…Chapter Eighty-Five: From Self-Satisfaction to Self-Destruction in 3…2…1…

Sun is shining. The heat is bearable. This miscreant’s gonna hit the SEE-ment pond today.

“Loiter Squad” and “Superjail” new seasons On Demand. Lassoed dem critters…all caught up.

Then the blazin’ red-hot Goddammitphone rings…and I answer:


Tommy Ramone: 1952-2014

Sun explodes in my punk rock collection. The heat fries my senses. Still goin’ swimmin’ but won’t shake out the excess water betwixt the ‘lobes.

AOL posts a picture of Marky Ramone instead of a pic of Tommy. Papercut City. Got Bad Religion on the horn. They’re on it.

Friday Night Flix: Grand Piano

gp2Welcome to Friday Night Flix, where there’s never a need to leave the couch or put on pants. Each week I’ll recommend an under-the-radar movie currently available on one or more of the major streaming platforms. They won’t all be classics, but every selection is guaranteed to be 100% watchable or your money back.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A person receives a phone call from an unseen sniper informing him that if he doesn’t obey a set of instructions precisely, he’ll be shot. If he attempts to flee, he’ll also be shot. Off the top of my head I can think of that dopey Colin Farrell movie Phone Booth and the earlier/better Liberty Stands Still. Now I can add Grand Piano to that list.

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In this case, the victim (Elijah Wood) isn’t being taught a moral lesson — at least not as such — so it’s slightly different. It’s also set up a bit more plausibly, since the action takes place in an enclosed theater rather than a crowded city street with all the impossible-to-predict variables that entails. The other thing that separates it is some astonishing piano playing.

Though there are moments of character development and a few brutal thrills, the focus is genuinely on the music. The centerpiece is a fictional composition called “La Cinquette,” a song so difficult only a handful of people in the world can play it.

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The build-up is so tastefully explained, even if you have no understanding of such things (as I surely do not) you can’t help but sit in rapt attention when Wood finally starts in on “the unplayable piece.” I have no idea what kind of special effects and/or voodoo they used for this stuff because there are numerous closeups in which Woods’ hands and face are fully visible and it always looks like he’s really playing playing these insane pieces of music. Maybe Elijah Wood is secretly a concert-level pianist.

I’m not happy about it but I have to say I’m starting to become a fan of E-Wood. I never thought I’d get over the atrocity he committed against The Lord of the Rings but between this, Maniac and his Woodshed SpectreVision stuff, he’s starting to win me over. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to hear that.

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John Cusack is in this movie too, playing the Wesley Snipes/Kiefer Sutherland sniper character. Without exaggeration or irony, this is his most gripping performance in a long time. Cusack is a little like Ben Kingsley at this point in his career, or to a lesser extent Robert De Niro. All three are still top flight actors but they will take literally any gig, no matter how cheap or rushed.

Cusack is just as likely to appear in a great movie (The Butler) as he is some ridiculous straight-to-VOD crap (The Factory), often in the same year. If you look at his IMDB page, he has EIGHT movies coming out in 2014. Eight! How can someone with such a long and successful career need money that badly? Maybe he’s letting his brother-in-law Paulie manage his money?

Added bonus: BILL S. PRESTON ESQUIRE IS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE.

The Modern Borecast vol. 4 – Sippin’ on Wine…and Mackin’

Making a podcast on a shoestring nonexistent budget is certainly an interesting challenge.

THIS WEEK! The Modern Borecast covers the following:

-What exactly are we playing/watching/reading? This is also the time when Adam is unimaginably cruel to me. I JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THE NUMBER OF EPISODES MOST TELEVISION SHOWS HAVE IN A GIVE SEAZZZZzzzzzzz…

- Hey, remember that video game time machine adam talked about? Yeah.

- Movies! Some are good, some aren’t. This volume, STAR WARS is right in the crosshairs of our blasters.

- Sexy sexy comic books.

- Television is stupid, according to the both of us.

Check out all of the previous Borecasts, so you have something to listen to other than your terrible family during summer vacation! Hit ‘em up here:

- Vol. 1 – A Wild Podcast Appears!

- Vol. 2 – Podcast Womp Womp

-  Vol. 3-  We Back. We Back.

Keep in mind folks, we are this kitten and you not listening to the Borecast is that flaming hole.

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