Shameless Plug. Big Farkin’ Hole.

Shameless plug for my poetry website.

Salvation for those who have forsaken all logic, squashed all platitudes, and perpetuated the pill count.

Dolph Lundgren in ‘Kindergarten Cop 2’ – for frack’s sake… ‘Tremors 5: Bloodlines’ neither buries nor bolsters the franchise. Adam Scott’s been pissin’ me off lately. Robert DeNiro is the only charm of ‘The Intern’. M. Night’s ‘The Visit’ was a return to grisly greatness. ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ spotlights the unctuous likability of Joey Kern, the poor man’s Seann William Scott. This weekend: DEATHGASM and any Danny Trejo I can get a holda.

Save me life, ya heathens.

Where were these when I had disposable income?!?! Skyrim & Fallout figures

Way to go Funko! Now go back in time 2 years so I could actually buy these. Still, that Daedric Warrior figure is sweet as fuuuuuuuuuuuuudge. (Ed. note: We family friendly now, fuckers.)

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Source: i09

Apparently there are also super sick/super expensive Fallout figures on the way as well from ThreeZero but they might as well be priced in unobtanium for all the not buying of them I will be doing. I’ll just have to push my greasy face up against the glass of my laptop and lust over them from my desk. Goodbye, sweet princes.

Advance Look at DeVerna & Davidson’s “Howl” #1

It’s always tough when friends ask you to review something.

Clearly they’ve put their heart & soul into the material and they want feedback; gentle, but feedback nonetheless.  They turn to their circle, hoping that if they made an out & out turd, at least their friends will let them down easily.

Luckily for me, I don’t have to let Eastin and Ryan down easily, as “Howl” #1 stands on its own two lycanthropic feet as something worth investigating further (and investing in right now via Kickstarter).

Howl #1 tells the story Jack Lowe, who is apparently the last man on Earth; welllll, the last man man. The last homo sapien.  For some unknown reason, Jack is the last non-werewolf on the planet.  The 5 W’s of Journalism kick in almost immediately as I was reading issue #1 and wanted to immediately reach out to the creators & press them for answers.

Honestly though, I’m anxiously awaiting the next issue, hoping that it brings a few answers before additional questions start arriving. As for the story, don’t worry, this isn’t another post-apocalyptic world of grey misery you have to trudge through; our dude’s a history teacher at a school full of normal-seeming teenagers (who are monsters to begin with, lycanthropy or no). He’s got an interesting marriage and a blowhard for a neighbor.

I’m hoping their Kickstarter blows past its goal so that we’ll get a nice long look at the world of Howl; werewolves as bad motherfuckers who are bipedal creatures of destruction, goddammit, not shirtless male models who mope around before being pressed into service out of some weird fetish for pasty teenage depressives.

Fun fact: Did you know that this is the same creative team that Modern Borefare once interviewed about the killer webcomic, Spaceship Long Island? It’s true! Believe it or don’t.

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Click here to back them on Kickstarter! 

(See Kickstarter page for further details as well as proper art credit)

Trailer Park: All the Upcoming Comic Book Movies You Can Shake a “Meh” At

I’ll see them all, but the only one that won’t be accompanied by a weary sigh is Deadpool.


Still can’t believe that A) this actually got made and b) with a hard R rating.

Suicide Squad

Why does the Joker have so many terrible tattoos?

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

X-Men: Apocalypse (leaked SDCC ’15 buttcam version)

Don’t worry, only 53 more to go!

In Less Than Two Hours, War Never Changes…Again (edited)

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This is either going to be amazing or the greatest/cruelest hoax played on Fallout fanboys.

PA system failure has occurred. Shutdown of the Masterbrain has been authorized and all sensitive materials have been removed for security purposes. Please attempt re-access. Have a nice day.


I’ve only watched 2 minutes of KUNG FURY and Already My Life Has Changed for the Better

Markmy words, this will become (hell, it probably already is) a cultural touchstone.  Even better, it’s only 30 minutes long!You’re lucky though; any longer than that and chances are high your eyes might melt.  You think eye jelly is easy to get out of your vintage Old Navy hot yellow Tech-Vest®? Trust me…it ain’t. Consider yourself warned. KUNG FURY!!!